I Want To Love You
by pizzahole
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is an introvert who isn't interested in making friends, until he meets a certain blonde. But what happens when he finally opens up to someone? Perhaps he has just made a big mistake.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is my first Sasunaru fanfiction. Here is a list of warnings:**

**- Sexual scenes**

**- Cussing**

**- Slight depression**

**I think that's about it. It's nothing too dark, just thought I'd warn you anyway.**

**Well, enjoy :3**

**I**** Want To Love You**

**Chapter One:**

Sasuke Uchiha sighed as he sat down in his Chemistry class. _Thank god this is the last period of the day_ he thought as he put his books down and opened up his notebook. He was happy that no one sat next to him and wouldn't see his drawings. He started sketching a picture of himself. He drew in his dark, black hair and his dark eyes, but instead of the scowl he normally wore he drew a smile. His eyes didn't look so full of pain and sadness; instead, they were full of life and happiness. He wished that the picture was the real him. He looked up at his teacher who was speaking about polyatomics and nomenclature and surveyed the room. The raven was glad that it was a big class, he hated to be noticed and stand out. He grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, and he was well-known for being the top of his class. He always said he hated the attention, but he couldn't help but be a little flattered. Everything changed though during his high school years. He still remained top of his class, and everyone liked him, but his entire family was killed one night by a serial killer that was on the loose.

Not only was the incident traumatizing, but because of being in a small town, the news spread to everyone. He fell into a deep depression and everyone tried to cheer him up, but their attempts made him push everyone further away; he didn't want to be pitied. He didn't want to live in that town anymore, so as soon as he graduated he moved far away. He now went to a college where no one knew him, and no one really attempted to get to know him. It was lonely, but it wasn't all bad. At least he didn't have to worry about someone he loved getting taken away from him again, or have to worry about friends giving up on him or leaving.

Everyday was the same, until today that is. As Sasuke continued to tune out his Chemistry teacher's lecture, he heard a knock on the door. **Knock knock.** The teacher said something along the lines of, "Oh god, what now?" and went to answer the door. "Yeah, what do ya want?" he said to the intruder. There was a pause, and then the teacher replied, "Well, about time you found your way here! Class is more than half over!" He then led the stranger into the class.

Sasuke glanced up to see a boy dressed in bright orange. As Sasuke studied the new student he realized that he was the exact opposite of him. This boy had nice, tan skin and a toned body. Whereas Sasuke on the other hand was as pale as a ghost and wasn't all that muscular. The boy wore bright colors that stuck out like a sore thumb, while sasuke dressed in dark blue or black and blended in with the crowd. And as soon as the boy introduced himself, Sasuke also found out that his personality was also the exact opposite.

"Why don't you introduce yourself?" the teacher suggested. The boy grinned big and scratched the back of his head, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and don't forget it!" he exclaimed loudly. _Well, he sure knows how to make a first impression _thought Sasuke. "Shut up and just sit down, loser!" a kid named Kiba shouted at Naruto. "It's nice to see you too, Kiba!" he replied. Naruto glanced around the room, most of the seats were full. There were a few empty seats in the back, where a guy sat by himself. He didn't feel comfortable with sitting too far in the back so he decided to pick a seat toward to middle of the class.

Sasuke watched as Naruto took the seat in front of him, which was next to !. "Alright, I've done enough talking for today. Here's the homework for tonight." the teacher said as he passed out a worksheet. Instead of dismissing us early like any normal teacher, ours decided that 'you can start working on it here and ask me if you have any questions until the hour is up'. Sasuke glanced at the paper and quickly finished in less than five minutes. It honestly wasn't that hard, and every time someone raised their hand to ask a question about one of the problems Sasuke rolled his eyes. Sasuke put his finished homework in his folder and went back to sketching his picture.

"Hey, Kiba, do you know how to do this crap?" Naruto asked. Kiba shook his head, "I actually have no idea." He admitted. "Wow, some help you are!" Naruto replied.

"What?! Don't even give me that! You can't even do it yourself!"

"So? I just transferred to this class today! I'm a good three weeks behind!"

"Well, why don't you just ask someone else?"

"I don't know anyone else!"

Kiba glanced behind him at Sasuke, who was already done with his work. "Why don't you ask that guy? He seems to know what he's doing" Kiba suggested. "Hey, um, do you know how to do this?" Naruto asked Sasuke. _This guy doesn't even have manners, he didn't even ask me my name!_ Sasuke thought. "No, sorry." Sasuke replied, although he wasn't very sorry at all. He didn't really want to deal with this idiot. "Oh, sorry for bothering you." Naruto replied sadly.

Sasuke normally blew everyone off, so why did he feel so bad for blowing this kid off? Sasuke thought about things for a minute. _Maybe I could use a friend…_ he thought. _And what better way than to start tutoring the kid?_ "Hey, actually, I might be able to help you." Sasuke said when Naruto started to turn away. "Really?" The blonde's eyes lit up. "Sure, just come by my apartment around 4" Sasuke said and gave Naruto his address. Little did he know he might regret giving the blonde a chance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Naruto waited impatiently in Kiba's car. He pulled out his phone and checked the time, it was 4:17. _I'm gonna be late goddammit._ Kiba finished pumping the gas and got into the car. "Hurry up Kiba, I'm gonna be late! What if he thinks I'm not coming?" Naruto yelled. "Chill out man, why are you so worried? I'm sure he knows you're coming. His apartment is right around the corner anyway." Kiba insisted. Naruto mumbled something along the lines of, 'yeah whatever', and within the next few minutes he was standing in front of Sasuke's door.

Sasuke opened his door to reveal the blonde boy. "Hey, Naruto, I almost thought you weren't coming." _I told you, Kiba_ Naruto thought. He scratched his head, embarrassed, "Yeah, sorry about that, Kiba was taking forever." Sasuke gestured for Naruto to come inside, "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable on the couch, I'll be there in a minute" Sasuke informed him as he went to retrieve his Chemistry.

Naruto glanced around the small apartment, although there wasn't much to look at. No T.V., bare walls. Everything was so neat that it was questionable someone even lived here. "Alright, ready to get started?" Sasuke asked, taking a seat next to him. Naruto nodded. Naruto felt like everything was a little awkward, so to ease some of the tension he decided to crack a joke. He looked at the periodic table and racked his brain for a joke. "Hey, are you Gallium and Yttrium? Because you're GaY!" Naruto said, laughing pretty hard at his own joke. Sasuke looked slightly uncomfortable but laughed a little anyway. _Oh god, what if he is gay? Maybe I just offended him… _ Naruto thought, but decided to shrug it off. After a good hour of explaining, Naruto was finally starting to understand the Chemistry. Sasuke told him to work the next few on his own and then let him check it. He finished after about ten minutes, "Hey, um…" _Holy fuck. I never asked him his name… how embarrassing! _Naruto thought. "Yeah?" Sasuke asked. "I uh.. I'm done with the problems." He answered. There was no way in hell he was gonna admit he didn't know this guy's name. He could easily figure it out, I mean, surely someone knew his name.

Sasuke glanced over the answers, "Looks good. So I guess we're done here?" Sasuke had a nice time spending his evening with Naruto, but he didn't want to get too attached to him. "Yeah, thanks a lot, I would seriously fail without your help!" Naruto admitted.

"Haha well, pretty much everyone else is failing it."

"What really? It seemed hard at first but it's pretty easy once you get the hang of it!"

"Haha so I guess you won't be needing my help anymore?" Sasuke couldn't help but feel a little sad when he said that but he reminded himself he didn't need any friends.

"I think I'll be okay, but maybe we could hangout again?" Naruto suggested. Sasuke pondered it for a moment. He knew he should turn down the offer, but something urged him to say, "Yeah that sounds nice, how about tomorrow?" Naruto nodded and said, "Alright sounds good. Me and some friends were planning to go the movies tomorrow at 5, would you like to go?" Sasuke thought about it for a moment, _I guess I could get out of the house for a few hours._

"Yeah, alright."

"Cool, and if you want you can bring some of your friends."

"Alright, well, it's getting late." Sasuke said, getting up and walking towards to door. Naruto followed him, "Hey, thanks again." Sasuke opened the door, "Anytime, Naruto." He put extra emphasis on his name, still waiting for the other to ask him his own name. Naruto cursed himself inwardly for continuing to avoid asking his name, but it's already been this long and it would be embarrassing to ask now! "Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Naruto replied, walking passed Sasuke. As Naruto went passed him, Sasuke whispered in his ear, "My name is Sasuke by the way," smirking.

**So yeah, next chapter Sasuke is going to attempt to be social! :P I really hoped you guys like it! I'll try to make the next chapter longer! It's gonna start getting good within the next few chapters! :D Also, Sorry this chapter is so short, next one will be longer! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Sasuke sighed as he sat down in his last class. It was a History class, and Sasuke didn't care all that much about History. So, instead of listening to the lecture, he pulled out his notebook and flipped to a blank page. He couldn't stop thinking about the blonde he had met, and he had to admit, he was pretty excited to see the movie tonight. Well, to be honest, he was more excited to hang out with his new friend than to actually see the movie. Before he knew it, he was drawing Naruto. For some reason, he felt so drawn to him, there was just something about him. Maybe it was because they were opposites, they do say opposites attract. Soon after he was finished drawing his picture, class was dismissed and he headed home to get ready for his exciting night.

"You invited him?" Kiba asked Naruto as they got into his car. "Yeah, that's okay right?" he asked. "I mean I guess so… The kid seems a little weird though, too quiet for me." Kiba said. Naruto shook his head, "Nah. He's quiet, but I feel like he'll loosen up after tonight." Kiba shrugged and suggested if they were gonna get there on time then they should probably pick Sasuke up now. "Hey, Sakura also needed a ride and her house is on the way." Naruto informed Kiba. "Don't tell me you're still into her…" Kiba groaned. "I'm not!" Naruto argued, "We broke up a few months back anyway, we're just good friends." Kiba rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever." Naruto never shut up about Sakura when they were dating, Kiba had to admit he was happy when they broke up.

After they picked up Sakura, they headed to Sasuke's house and picked him up. "Hey there, what's your name?" Sakura asked Sasuke. "Sasuke Uchiha." He replied shortly. She smiled and touched his arm, "My name is Sakura," She winked. Sasuke brushed her arm off, "Nice to meet you." He said, although he was already regretting coming along. He hated when girls flirted with him, especially because he wasn't interested. "Hey, stop bothering him Sakura!" Naruto said after seeing how uncomfortable Sasuke was. "Sounds like you're jealous she's touching him instead of you!" Kiba accused. "What? No way! I told you that we were just friends!" Sasuke shifted uncomfortably, he couldn't wait to get to the movies. Sakura, hoping to change the subject asked, "So, who else is coming?"

"Shikamaru, Shino, Ino, and Hinata." Kiba answered. Naruto turned in his seat to face Sasuke who was sitting behind him. "You'll probably like Shino, Hinata, and Shikamaru a lot, they're pretty quiet like you." he told Sasuke. Sasuke was glad that the whole group wasn't full of loud people. "You probably should watch out for Ino though, when it comes to guys her and Sakura tend to fight over them. It seems like you're the target tonight." Naruto whispered, making sure Sakura didn't hear. Sasuke sighed, "Sounds like I'm in for a fun night." He said sarcastically. "Hey, if you want I'll protect you from them!" Naruto offered.

"Aww, are you gonna be my knight in shining armor?" Sasuke teased. Naruto faked pouted, "I guess you don't need my help…" He joked. "No! I definitely need the help!" Sasuke laughed. Kiba pulled into the movie theatre parking lot, next to Shikamaru's car. "About time you got here, you know how much I hate waiting. It's such a drag." Shikamaru said as they entered the theatre. "It was totally worth the wait though, who's the cutie?" Ino exclaimed, attaching herself to Sasuke's arm. "Back off! He's totally mine!" Sakura said, pushing Ino off of him. "Nah, he's mine!" Naruto grinned, wrapping his arm around Sasuke. Shino, who hasn't spoken a word till now said, "Well, we always thought you were gay Naruto." Naruto let go of Sasuke, "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?! I'm just protecting him from the girls!" Shino shrugged, "Nothing, forget I said anything." Naruto pouted and muttered, "That's what I thought." under his breath.

To ease some of the awkwardness Sasuke asked, "So um… what movie are we seeing?" Sakura and Ino instantly shouted out the name of the latest chick flick and the guys quickly shot the idea down. "What about that movie where insects take over the world?" Shino suggested. "Not everyone is as fascinated by bugs like you are, Shino!" Shikamaru told him. "And besides, bugs are gross!" Ino said. "How about we watch a scary movie?" Sasuke asked. He wasn't a huge fan of scary movies himself, but normally he heard people talking about going to see scary movies. "Yeah, that's a great idea! I know just the one we should watch!" Naruto exclaimed. Everyone nodded in agreement and they took their seats in the theatre. Sasuke sat on the end, with Naruto next to him. Sasuke preferred sitting on the end. It was easier to get out and less cramped.

Halfway through the movie, it was starting to get pretty scary. Sasuke would never admit it, but he was actually pretty scared himself. After a jump scare, he flinched and silently cursed himself when Naruto noticed. He leaned over and whispered to Sasuke, "You aren't scared are ya? Need me to hold your hand?" He teased. Sasuke rolled his eyes, "I'm just fine, thanks." Naruto decided to change the subject, "You aren't uncomfortable are you? I hope you didn't mind hanging out with my friends." Sasuke shook his head, "No, I'm having a good time. They seem nice."

Naruto smiled, "I'm glad you like them. You could've brought some of your friends if you wanted to you know." Sasuke replied with a simple "Yeah." focusing his attention on the movie, not wanting to go into further detail about his "friends", but of course Naruto kept pressing on. "When do I get to meet your friends?" He asked. Sasuke, getting a bit upset and frustrated replied, "I don't know. I'll be back." And got up to use to bathroom. He went inside, thankful that he was alone, and splashed some water on his face. He let out a sigh. _Coming here was a bad idea. He'll probably realize I have no friends and I'm just some loser. I don't know why I even thought I could make friends… _Sasuke thought. He heard someone come in and looked toward the door. "Hey, you okay?" Naruto asked him. "Why are you in here?" Sasuke asked. Naruto slowly approached him, "Sasuke… you don't have any other friends, do you?" Sasuke turned away from him, "So what? I know I'm a loser, I shouldn't have even came here."

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm and turned him around, "Hey, I know what it's like to not have any friends. Growing up, no one really liked me. But I met Kiba, and he introduced me to his group. And now, I'm introducing you to them. You can hang out with us anytime." Sasuke looked up at him, "Really?" Part of him wanted to just shrug Naruto off and tell him he didn't need his friendship or anyone else's for that matter, but something in Naruto's tone was so calming and it made him want to be his friend. "Yeah really, now come on so we can finish the movie. Unless you're too scared?" Naruto teased. Sasuke shoved Naruto playfully, "Whatever, I bet you chased after me because you were too scared of the movie without me by your side!" Sasuke countered. "Yeah, you wish!" Naruto replied as they walked back to their seats. They took a seat and after a few minutes, Sasuke flinched from another jump scare. Naruto whispered, "I can still hold your hand if you want, scaredy cat." Sasuke rolled his eyes and denied his offer, but soon after he did he realized how much he really did want to hold the blonde's hand. _Great, now I'm feeling romantic feelings toward him._ Sasuke thought. _I bet he isn't even gay._ After the movie was over Kiba dropped Sasuke off and told him he should hang out with them again soon. Just as Sasuke was about to get out of the car and into his apartment, Naruto stopped him. "Hey, we're all gonna go drinking next weekend, you should come." He told him. "Alright, I'll be there." Sasuke promised, exiting the car. _What am I getting myself into?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The next week went by in a blur, Naruto and Sasuke hung out a few times throughout the week and before Sasuke knew it, it was the weekend. Sasuke's phone vibrated and he saw it was a text from Naruto: "Be there soon, Sakura will be there so watch out :P" Sasuke rolled his eyes, _God that girl is troublesome _he thought. He was thankful for Naruto though, he did a good job of keeping her away from him, and she even started to back off a bit. Sasuke was a bit nervous for tonight, he's never went drinking before, his 21st birthday was only a few months ago. _Am I gonna be a fun drunk? _Sasuke wondered, _Or maybe I'll be the emotional type and cry the whole night._ He frowned at that thought, he sure hoped he'd be the fun type. A text from Naruto saying that they were outside snapped Sasuke from his thoughts. He made his way to Kiba's car, it seemed Kiba was the one who normally drove them places. Sasuke wondered why only Kiba and Shikamaru seemed to have cars, but then again he didn't own a car himself so he had no room to talk.

"Sorry, It's a bit cramped this time." Kiba said as Sasuke got in. Naruto was shotgun, and Sakura and someone Sasuke didn't recognize sat in back. "Hey! It's really nice to meet you, my name is Lee!" the stranger introduced himself. Sasuke noted that Lee was quite lively and loud, and was extremely obsessed with working out. _I feel like I always get stuck with the loud half of the group_ he thought sadly. "I'd really like to know more about you, Sasuke." Lee said after rambling about his workout routine of 500 pushups a day. Sasuke shrugged, "There's not much to know I guess." Lee furrowed his brows, which were very thick by the way, and pressed further, "Well, how about you tell me about-" but Sakura cut him off, "Tell us what you look for in a girl!" she exclaimed. Sasuke had to refrain from saying "I'm not into girls" and thought about it for a minute. "I don't know… Someone who makes me laugh and smile." He replied after a few minutes. Kiba scoffed, "Well, that's about impossible. Sometimes I'm convinced your only expression is that frown you wear everyday." Sasuke frowned at this, although he knew it was true. "That's not true! I've made him laugh before and he actually smiles. He's just not all the way loosened up around you guys yet." Naruto said. "Either that or he likes you," Kiba teased. "That's nonsense!" Naruto said, looking at Sasuke for reassurance. "What if I did like you?" Sasuke decided to play along with the joke, even though in truth he did like the blonde. Naruto blushed, "I already know you don't, and besides I'm into girls." Sasuke tried to ignore the slight hurt he felt that Naruto was obviously straight, and before he had much time to dwell on it Kiba announced that they arrived at the bar.

"I'll have a boilermaker," Kiba ordered as they sat down inside. "I'll take a rum and coke." Naruto said when it was his turn to order. When it was Sasuke's turn everyone turned toward him, "And what would you like?" The bartender asked him. "Um…" He hesitated. Kiba nudged him, "Dude, you've never been drunk before have you?" Sasuke scoffed, "So?" Kiba grinned, "He'll have a shot of Tequila, no chaser." Sakura made a sour face, "That's cruel, Kiba. I hate the taste of Tequila." Naruto agreed, Sasuke should probably drink something else for his first time. Wanting to impress them, Sasuke just said, "It's fine, I can handle it." and gulped it down as soon as the bartender placed it in front of him.

He forced himself not to grimace from the taste and said, "That was nothing." and ordered another one. A few drinks later, Sasuke's vision started to blur and he had trouble putting his thoughts together. "Hey, I'll be right back." Naruto said. Sasuke just nodded and looked around. It was just him and Kiba, the others had disappeared somewhere in the club. After a few minutes, Sasuke started wondering just where Naruto had went. "Hey, Kiba? Where did Naruto go?" he asked. Kiba shrugged, "Think he went off somewhere with Sakura." Sasuke frowned. _Why was he with Sakura?_ When Sasuke didn't reply Kiba said, "Did you know they use to date?" Sasuke felt a pang of jealousy. "No, I didn't. I'll be back." He replied.

He stood up, stumbling a bit from the liquor in his system. He started walking around aimlessly, and eventually found his way to the bathroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. _What am I doing here? _he questioned himself. He leaned against the wall and slid down to the dirty ground. He rested his head on his knees. _I'm so stupid to think he would like me. _Before he knew it, he was crying. _Here I am, at a bar with people I barely know. I just want to go home. _He heard the door open and turned to see it was Shino. _When did he get here? _"Hey, you alright?" Shino asked him. Sasuke nodded, "Yeah…" He wiped his tears and stood up, attempting to leave, but Shino grabbed his arm. "Hey, where are you going?" Sasuke shrugged, "I guess I'm gonna find Naruto." Shino tensed. "Sasuke?" He turned to face Shino, "Yeah?"

"Naruto talks about you a lot you know, and he really cares about you. I'm glad you guys are friends." he said after a minute. Sasuke smiled, tearing up, "I'm glad too.." Shino looked puzzled, "Then what's wrong?" Sasuke wasn't sure why he said what he did next but he couldn't stop himself, "I just… I really like him. And I know he'll never like me back." Tears started rolling down his cheeks silently. Sasuke grasped the bathroom door handle, "I'll be okay though." and left the bathroom. He started walking back to his seat when something caught his eye. _Is that Naruto?_ He wondered. He decided to go over to him until he saw what he was doing. Naruto had Sakura up against a wall, kissing her passionately. "Naruto?" Sasuke couldn't explain how he felt. Part of him wanted to be mad and yell at him, but the other half of himself reminded him that Naruto isn't into him and never would be. Tears threatened to fall again and he was ready to leave. "Sasuke? What's wrong?" Naruto said, tearing himself away from Sakura after hearing Sasuke say his name. Sasuke swallowed his sadness, "I um… I'm ready to go home."

"Already?" Naruto asked, "We've only been here for about an hour and a half." Sasuke looked away, "Yeah, I wanna go home." Naruto sighed, "Alright, let's go find Kiba." Sakura looked at Naruto with a 'are you kidding me' face but didn't say anything. _Well it didn't take her long to forget about me_ Sasuke thought. "Hey, Kiba, we're ready to go." Naruto said when he finally found the brunette. Kiba tossed Naruto his keys, "Here, you drive."

The ride back home was slightly uncomfortable, Sasuke just looked out the window without speaking a word. Kiba slept next to him, Sakura sat up front next to Naruto, whispering things here and there but Sasuke couldn't make out the words. They couldn't find Lee anywhere before they left, but Shino said he would take Lee home when he found him. Naruto dropped Sakura off first and gestured for Sasuke to sit up front next to him, hoping to see what was wrong. Sasuke shifted in the seat uncomfortable, hoping the blonde wouldn't say anything. "Are you alright?" Naruto asked. "Yeah." Sasuke replied. Silence filled the air and soon they were parked outside of Sasuke's apartment. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Naruto pressed. "I told you, I'm fine." Sasuke snapped, getting annoyed. The alcohol was wearing off and Sasuke felt sick to his stomach, not just from the liquor but from the fact that tonight was a mistake. "Good night, Sasuke…" Naruto said after a few seconds.

"Good bye, Naruto."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The next two weeks went by painfully slow, and Sasuke found himself avoiding Naruto and the group at all costs. He ignored Naruto's constant texts asking where he was or if he wanted to hangout and he even went as far as skipping Chemistry so he didn't have to see him. Naruto even came to his apartment to make sure he was okay, Sasuke recalled the first night it happened. It was two days after the incident at the bar and it was around eleven at night. He was curled up in bed, thinking about the blonde. _I'm so stupid… God I'm just so stupid. _He thought. _I should've known trying to make friends would end up this way… At least I'm ending it before I get in too deep. _He couldn't help but cry as he lay in bed, he couldn't believe so much had happened in only a few weeks. That's when it happened, he heard knocking on his door. He ignored it, and the knocking sounded again. "Hey… It's me, Naruto. I guess you're either asleep or you're avoiding me. I.. I'm not sure what I did, but I want you to know that whatever it was I'm sorry." he paused. "I…" _What was that sound?_ Sasuke thought. _Is he.. is Naruto crying? _"It's weird but for some reason I feel really drawn to you. As soon as we became friends, I just felt so close to you." Naruto forced a laugh and sniffed, "I know it's stupid.. I bet you're thinking 'how can you feel close to someone you barely know?' and you know.. I honestly can't answer that. I just really wish you would talk to me." Naruto laughed a little, "Here I am, pouring my heart out and you're probably asleep or something. Well.. I'll talk to you later." and he heard Naruto leave. Sasuke couldn't help but tear up from Naruto's speech, and though part of him wanted to make up with him and admit how ridiculous he was being, he just couldn't. He convinced himself that it was better this way, that he was meant to be alone and deepening his friendship with anyone would only lead to more heartbreak later.

That was only two days after the trip to the bar, and now it had been two weeks. The texts weren't as frequent and Naruto hadn't visited his apartment in at least five days. _He's finally giving up _Sasuke thought, partially relieved and partially sad. He sighed, it was 5 p.m. on a Saturday. He could be having fun and yet here he was. _I guess I'll go buy some groceries, I'm running out of food anyway._ He forced himself to get off his couch and walked to the store.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Naruto asked Kiba, they were parked outside of Sasuke's apartment. "Well, if talking to him will make you shut up then I'm all for it." Kiba answered. Naruto shoved Kiba playfully, "Wow you're so nice!" and then got serious again, "But seriously Kiba, I don't think breaking into his house and waiting for him to come home is a proper way to force him to talk to me." Kiba shrugged, "Well nothing else is working and at least this way he'll have to talk to you." Naruto nodded half-agreeing, "Yeah, or he'll call the police." Kiba shoved Naruto this time, "Come on I didn't drive here for nothing. Stop being a pussy and just do it." Naruto sighed, getting out of the car, "Thanks Kiba, I'll call you when I need you to pick me up."

Sasuke sighed. _I really need to invest in a car_ he thought. Carrying groceries home from the store was not the most fun thing in the world, thankfully he had finally reached his apartment door. He set the groceries down temporarily to unlock his door but remembered he didn't even lock it in the first place. _Maybe I should start locking it. _He thought and opened his door. He set the groceries down in the kitchen and started to put everything up. "Um… Hey.." a voice said behind him. Sasuke dropped the box of cereal he was holding, "What the hell are you doing in my house?!" Sasuke exclaimed. He was both shocked and really pissed off. "You can't just break into people's houses! What is wrong with you? I could've had a heart attack!" he continued yelling. Naruto awkwardly laughed and scratched his head, "I.. well.. I know that it's a little extreme but I just want to talk to you." Sasuke looked at him, "Can't you take a hint? I don't want to talk to you!" He retorted, angrily picking up the box of cereal and placing it in the cabinet. "Yeah, I kinda got that. But don't you think I deserve an explanation?!" Naruto said after a minute.

"Don't you think I deserve to be happy?" Sasuke yelled back. "And you think this is making you happy?!" Naruto asked. "You don't know anything about me!"

"Probably because you won't tell me!"

"It's none of your business"

"I thought we were friends.."

"I thought we could be but I'm just gonna get hurt in the end so why even bother?"

"It doesn't have to be that way… just tell me what I did."

Sasuke looked away. He felt sort of guilty, it wasn't Naruto's fault that he liked him. "It's nothing." He said finally. Naruto walked closer to him, grabbing his arm, "You can tell me," he said softly. Sasuke shook his head, "I can't.. sorry." and turned to put the rest of his groceries up. "You can, damnit!" Naruto said, grabbing the collar of Sasuke's shirt. "Just leave me alone!" Sasuke yelled, grabbing Naruto's arm and pulling him off, and pushing him up against the wall. Naruto looked up at him, "I will once you tell me what the hell I did! All I did was try to be your fucking friend."

Sasuke clenched his jaw, "Well maybe I don't want you to be my friend!" Naruto sighed, "Then what do you want?!" Sasuke just looked at Naruto, and before he could stop himself he whispered softly, "I want you…" Naruto locked eyes with Sasuke, blushing. He had to admit, the way he felt about Sasuke he had never felt about anyone else, but did he like him? Sasuke leaned down and kissed him. Naruto's heart sped up, he didn't know what to do. But he kissed him back, slowly. It felt so different.. Sasuke deepened the kiss and Naruto wrapped his arms around him. Sasuke ran his hands through Naruto's soft blonde locks, slightly tugging on them. After a few minutes, Naruto pulled away. "I… I don't know.. I've never been with a guy." He said. Sasuke let go of him, "I haven't either.. but we could try?" He asked, hopeful. Naruto looked away. _I.. I'm into girls. _he assured himself. _Maybe I could try? God.. I don't know. _"I'm not sure Sasuke.. I don't know if I could do it." Sasuke looked disappointed but he understood where the blonde was coming from. "I know…"

Naruto hated how sad Sasuke looked, and he wanted to make him happy. He knew what it was like to feel sad and lost and not have anyone. After a few minutes he said, "I-I could try.. But we would have to keep it between us." Sasuke smiled, although he felt a bit upset that it had to be a secret, "Alright." Naruto was happy Sasuke was smiling again, "But listen, I don't know if this will work and I can't promise I will be able to love you, but I want to love you." Sasuke's smile faded, but only for a second, "I know. And that's all I can ask from you." Naruto smiled, "Now stop being so gloomy, everythings okay right?" Sasuke nodded. Naruto opened Sasuke's fridge. "What are you doing?" He asked the blonde. Naruto smirked, picking up a bottle of whipped cream. He popped the lid off and started spraying Sasuke with it. "Hahaha you're covered in whipped cream!" Naruto laughed.

Sasuke fake pouted, "You're mean." Naruto smirked, "Aww, poor Sasuke!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and started walking towards the blonde, "Come give me a hug." he said laughing. Naruto shook his head, "Nope, nope stay away!" He laughed, running from Sasuke. Eventually Sasuke caught up to Naruto and wrapped his arms around him, covering him in whipped cream. Naruto laughed and licked some whipped cream off Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke laughed too, "Idiot." he said rolling his eyes. _I really hope this wasn't a mistake._ Sasuke thought, but he couldn't really be sad during a moment like this. Here he was, with his new best friend/secret boyfriend, covered in whipped cream and laughing stupidly.

"Hey, Naruto?" Sasuke said after a minute of silence. "Yeah?" He answered. "I'm really glad I met you." He said honestly. Naruto smiled, "I'm glad I met you too." Sasuke smiled back, "Well it looks like I have a big mess to clean up now." He said. "I'll clean you off" Naruto winked. Sasuke shoved him, "You can help me clean my house instead." Naruto groaned, "Awww, that sounds a lot less fun." Sasuke shrugged, "Well, you shouldn't have made such a mess." Naruto pouted, "Alright… let's get to work."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"I'm sorry, Kiba! I promise I'll buy my own car someday." Naruto said as Kiba pulled up in front of Sasuke's apartment. Kiba sighed, "Yeah, sure. It's no problem, but seriously Naruto how long are you gonna keep this up?" It's been a week and a half since Naruto started secretly dating Sasuke and the only person he trusted the secret to was Kiba. Naruto frowned, "What to do you mean?" Kiba shook his head, "When are you gonna tell the others? They're already getting suspicious with how much time you spend with him." Naruto looked away, "Yeah.. I know. I just need time.." Kiba sighed again but patted Naruto's shoulder, "I know. It's okay, but you have to go out to eat with us tonight. You ditched last week so don't even try ditching tonight!" Naruto opened his mouth to object, but he knew it was useless. Kiba would drag him there if he had to. "Alright, what time?" Kiba smiled, "That's what I thought. I'll pick you up at 6, bring Sasuke along if you want to."

Sasuke smiled as Naruto entered his bedroom. "Come here," he said, stretching his arms out towards Naruto. Naruto rolled into Sasuke's bed and wrapped his arms around him. They spent the last week just cuddling and talking. Sasuke nuzzled into Naruto's neck, "I missed you," he said, blushing. He was still getting use to the physical contact and admitting his feelings to Naruto but he loved every second of it. Naruto ran his fingers through Sasuke's hair, "So, Kiba invited me - Well he's more like forcing me to go out to eat with the group tonight." Sasuke looked up at him and pouted, he wanted to just spend the night cuddling and talking about random things but he knew he had to let Naruto spend time with his other friends too. "Okay." he said. "You can come too, if you want." Naruto suggested. Sasuke pondered it, "Hmm.. what time?" Naruto checked the time on his phone, it was 4:32. "In about an hour and a half."

Sasuke nodded, "Alright." and snuggled closer to Naruto. Naruto smirked, "I don't think you'll be able to keep your hands to yourself," he teased. Sasuke rolled his eyes and rolled away from Naruto's embrace. "Whatever," Sasuke said, fake-pouting. Naruto laughed and pulled Sasuke back to him, "I'm just kidding," he said smiling. Sasuke laughed too, "Now look who can't keep his hands to himself." Naruto playfully rolled on top of Sasuke, "Oh you know you love it." Sasuke stuck his tongue out at him, "You wish." Naruto laid on top of Sasuke and kissed his cheek, "You're cute." he said simply. Sasuke looked away, blushing. "Not compared to you." Naruto just looked at him, "Lies!"

After a little while Naruto looked at Sasuke with a serious face, "So, tell me something about your past. Didn't you have any friends in High School?" Sasuke was silent for a moment and then turned to Naruto, "Yeah I did have one really good friend but he moved away before I graduated." Naruto looked really excited and smiled widely, "Really? Tell me about him!" Sasuke laughed and he got that look on his face. The look that someone got when they remembered something that made them really happy. "Well, I met him in middle school. His name was Deidara, and you know he kinda reminds me of you. He has the same blonde hair and dorky attitude. He was really quiet at first, and he didn't really have any friends. We hit it off instantly and he was one of the only people who really understood me. He had the weirdest sense of humor, he would always randomly say stuff like, "What if this happened" and it would be some weird scenario."

Sasuke paused, thinking of a specific conversation, "One time he looked at me and was like 'What if people had mouths on their hands,' and said he would constantly lick things with his hands if that were possible. He would just say the most random things, like if a girl walked by he would say, "What if she just started breakdancing?" and as stupid as it was I would always laugh." Naruto smiled, he loved seeing this side of Sasuke. He loved that Sasuke was opening up to him and sharing parts of his past with him. "Why did he move away?" Naruto asked. Sasuke's smile faded into a look of confusion, "You know.. I don't really know. He never told me why he had to move. To be honest, I don't even know where he moved to."

Naruto's phone buzzed and it was a text from Kiba telling him he would be there soon to pick them up. "Hey, it's about time to go," he told Sasuke. Sasuke pouted and wrapped his arms around Naruto, "Aww, do we have to?" Naruto squeezed him and kissed his cheek, "Yes, but it'll be fun I promise!" Sasuke mumbled something about how staying home would be more fun, but gave in anyway. Kiba arrived after a few minutes and they squeezed into his car. Shino sat in front with Kiba, and Naruto sat in between Sasuke and Sakura. "So, where are we headed?" Naruto asked.

"We're going to Monzello's, you know, that one pizza place we always use to go to?" Sakura said, touching Naruto's leg and running her hand up and down his thigh. Sasuke glared at her, clearly annoyed and Naruto brushed her hand off. Sakura looked upset but didn't say anything. She whispered something in Naruto's ear that Sasuke couldn't hear, nor could he hear Naruto's response. He dismissed it and decided he'd ask him about it later rather than worrying about it now. "Monzello's?" Sasuke asked, "Where's that?" Shino turned in his seat, "It's a little out of town but not too far. Don't worry, you'll like it." and gave a small smile.

Sasuke really liked Shino, he didn't really say much but he always seemed to know when Sasuke was uncomfortable and tried to ease the awkwardness. After twenty minutes of awkward silence, excluding the occasional small talk, they arrived at Monzello's. "Table for five," Kiba said when the hostess greeted them. She showed them to their table, and they discussed what kind of pizza they were going to order. "I'll eat about anything," Sasuke said. "Let's get a meat lovers'!" Kiba exclaimed. Sakura rolled her eyes, "Gross, I hate when the pizza is covered in meat. Let's just go with pepperoni." Shino shrugged, "I'm okay with pepperoni." Kiba frowned, "Come on, back me up Naruto!" Naruto shrugged too, "I don't mind either way." Kiba mumbled something under his breath and then said, "Alright who's gonna go order it?"

Sasuke stood up, "I'll order. So one pepperoni pizza and some breadsticks?" he asked. Everyone nodded in agreement, except Kiba who was still pouting. "Alright, I'll be back." and went up to the counter to order. "Yeah, what would you like?" a male voice asked him, Sasuke looked up to meet the cashier's gaze. "D-Deidara?" He just stared at the blonde boy in front of him who wore an outfit with the words, "Monzello's pizza" on it. A name tag read, "Deidara". "Holy shit, Sasuke?!" he finally answered back. "What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked, so many emotions were running through him. "Haha well I work here obviously," he teased. "You know how much I love pizza. They wouldn't let me actually make the pizzas though, they feared I would eat them before they had a chance to get taken to the customers."

Sasuke laughed, "Wow. So is this where you moved to?" Deidara shook his head, "Nah. I mean I didn't move to this pizza place," He teased again. "Haha I'm just kidding, I moved with my family to a small town that isn't too far from here. Crazy how small the world is." Sasuke nodded in agreement, he never would've guessed he would be seeing his childhood best friend here. "Meet any hot guys?" Deidara asked. Sasuke blushed, "I actually have a boyfriend. He reminds me a lot of you." Deidara laughed, "Haha oh so you're into guys like me?" he said jokingly. Sasuke rolled his eyes, "That's not what I meant!"

Sasuke noticed there was someone else in line behind him and figured it was time to order. "Well, I'll have one large pepperoni pizza and an order of breadsticks." he said. "Haha sure thing, your order number is 56." Deidara said, handing him the receipt with the order number on it. "It was nice seeing you again, Deidara." Sasuke said. "It was nice seeing you too, Sasuke." and with that he sat down at the table with his new friends.

"Jeeze, took you forever." Naruto said. Sasuke shrugged, "There was a long line." Naruto gave him a suspicious look but decided to drop it. _I'll tell him later._ Sasuke decided. Sasuke reached under the table and rubbed Naruto's hand. Naruto just gave him a 'not-right-now' look and brushed his hand away. Sasuke frowned. Naruto had been acting kinda strange ever since he had talked to Sakura. An hour passed and they just finished eating their pizza. Naruto spent more time talking to Sakura and Kiba than he did talking to Sasuke, and that just made Sasuke want to go home more. He nibbled on a breadstick and stared down at his plate.

"Hey, are you alright?" Shino asked him, aware that Sasuke was pretty upset. "Yeah, I'm just ready to go home." he said. He felt bad because Naruto hadn't hung out with his friends in a little over a week but he also didn't want to be ignore the entire time they were there. "Don't worry, we'll probably leave soon." Shino reassured him. Sasuke nodded, "I hope so." After a few more minutes Kiba announced that they were leaving and they paid their bill. They all climbed into Kiba's car and Sasuke was relieved they were going home. "Alright are you guys ready to go to that party at Neji's house?" Kiba asked.

Sasuke held back his annoyance, _Are you serious? They're going to a party? _"Um no actually, I want to go home." he said. "Aww come on Sasuke, it'll be fun." Naruto encouraged. Sasuke shot him a glare, "No. You can go but I'm going home." Naruto looked disappointed but didn't say anything. "Is that okay with you Kiba?" Sasuke asked. "Yeah, I can drop you off on the way, it's no problem." The ride home was relatively silent. Sasuke didn't feel comfortable with Naruto going to the party without him but he also didn't want to go. It wasn't that he didn't trust the blonde, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous that Sakura was going to be there. _Whatever, _he thought. _I can't spend my whole night worrying about what may or may not happen. I guess I just have to trust him. _Naruto whispered to Sasuke, "Come on just go with us…" but Sasuke ignored him. "Don't be like this.." Naruto said. Sasuke turned to him, "Look everything is okay, go have fun with your friends. I'm just tired, I need some rest." Naruto didn't look convinced but he dropped it anyway.

They finally pulled in front of Sasuke's apartment and Sasuke waved bye to everyone. "Text me later?" Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded, "Sure." and went inside his house. He laid down on his bed and was already regretting not going to the stupid party. "Worrying isn't going to do any good." he said aloud, trying to convince himself. He sighed, this was gonna be a long night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

*** This chapter is going to be in Naruto's POV ***

"Text me later?" I asked Sasuke, hoping he would cheer up. "Sure," he replied and went inside his apartment. I sighed as we pulled away and made our way to Neji's. Maybe I shouldn't go… "Hey Kiba? I don't think I'm gonna go to Neji's." I said after a moment. Kiba slammed on the breaks, "What? Come on, man! Why not?" I shrugged, "I don't know, I just don't feel like drinking." Kiba shook his head, "Just stay for a little while, you don't have to drink." Arguing with Kiba was like arguing with a brick wall - he never took no for an answer. "Alright," I finally gave in, "But I'm only staying for an hour." Kiba grinned, "Awesome! Full speed ahead!"

Within fifteen minutes they arrived at Neji's. "Wow, it's been a long time since I've been here," I said as we entered the giant house. "Yeah, it's been about a year right?" Shino said. Kiba nodded, "Yep, after last year's huge party he quit having them. I heard a lot of people got arrested, the cops got called." I gave Kiba a 'you-better-hope-nothing-like-that-happens-this-time' look and he just grinned and said, "Don't worry about it, we're only staying an hour. Now excuse me while I get a drink." I rolled my eyes, looks like I'll be the designated driver tonight. "Looks like it's just me and you," Sakura said while touching my arm. I looked around us and noticed Shino also disappeared. I pulled my arm out of her grasp and mumbled, "Yeah," trying to find an excuse to get away from her. What did I even see in her before? "I'm gonna go get a drink, do you want anything?" she asked. "Yeah, just get me a water or something." I said, thankful she was leaving me alone.

I surveyed the room while I waited for her to return with my drink and noticed Lee was here along with Ino, Hinata, and Tenten. Neji was standing next to Tenten, arm wrapped around her. I swear they've been together for as long as I can remember. Lee seemed to be hitting on Ino and getting rejected pretty hard. I laughed, he was always flirting with girls and getting turned down pretty hard. He was a good guy though. Hinata was standing awkwardly next to them, she was always really shy. After a few minutes of waiting I decided to join them. "Hey, Neji. Long time no see." I flashed him a big grin. He returned the smile, "It's been awhile Naruto." Neji looked around for a minute, "Where's that pink-haired rat of yours?" I rolled my eyes, "She's-" but was interrupted by Sakura, "Right here! You don't have to be so rude, Neji." Neji scoffed, he hated Sakura. "Here," Sakura said, putting a cup in my hand. "They didn't have any water so I got you some pop." I glanced down at the dark liquid and shrugged, taking a drink.

Everyone started catching up, talking about how they were excited to visit their parents for Christmas. I glanced at my phone, we've only been here ten minutes. I sighed and texted Sasuke, "Hey, are you still up?" A few seconds later I got a text back, "Yeah, are you having fun?" I quickly texted back, "Not really, wish you were here." I finished the rest of my drink and turned to Sakura, "Hey, where'd you get this? I want some more." She smiled and took the cup from my hands, "I'll get you some more, I need a refill too."

Ten minutes later I was on my fourth cup of pop, I tended to drink a lot when I was avoiding making conversation. "I'll be right back," I said and made my way to the bathroom, my bladder was paying the price of drinking so much in so little time. I emptied my bladder and proceeded to wash my hands. I looked up in the bathroom mirror and noticed everything was a bit blurry. I stumbled out of the bathroom and saw Sakura waiting for me. "How do you feel?" She asked me. I looked at her puzzled, "What are you talking about?" I said. She smirked, "I put some alcohol in your pop, and it looks like its finally starting to kick in." I couldn't think straight, the alcohol was slowly taking effect and clouding my judgement.

* * *

><p>I woke up in an unfamiliar room, god where the hell was I? I tried to remember what happened last night. I went to the bathroom and… and I was talking to Sakura. <em>Sakura <em>I thought angrily. This was all her fault, I can't believe she put alcohol in my drink. "Lay back down, it's like eight in the morning." a voice said next to me. "Sakura?" Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "What?" I sat up and stared at her, "What happened last night? We didn't… did we?" She opened her emerald eyes and shot me a grin, "Yeah, you were an animal last night." and winked. Oh my god. This isn't happening. I started panicking. I got up and threw my clothes on, I realized we were in one of Neji's guest rooms. "What are you doing?" She asked me. "I-I gotta go. Don't you dare say a word about this to anyone." I looked at my phone and saw I had three texts from Sasuke. I'd have to read those later. Sakura started saying something but I ignored her and left the room. I made my way down the stairs, dialing Kiba's number.

After four rings he finally answered, "What the fuck man? It's like eight in the morning." I rolled my eyes, "Are you serious? We were only supposed to stay at the party for an hour. Where are you?" I heard Kiba sit up, "I'm downstairs in the spare bedroom." I hung up and found the bedroom with no problem, Kiba was putting on his jacket and I grabbed his arm. "Come on, we have to go now." Kiba yanked his arm back but followed me to his car. "Dude, what's your problem?" he said as they got into his car. "I slept with Sakura." I blurted and Kiba looked at me with wide eyes, "What?!" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "She fucking spiked my drink and I-I don't know. I can't remember. But I woke up with her next to me and god. This was a mistake, I told you I shouldn't have went to this party!"

"Listen, it's not a problem if Sasuke doesn't find out." Kiba said. I nodded, "Yeah but Sakura has a huge mouth, I highly doubt she's gonna keep quiet…" I took my phone out and looked at the texts from Sasuke. The first one said "I wish you would've came over instead of going to that party." the second one said, "I really need to tell you something." and the third one said, "Well, I'm going to bed. Good night, talk to you tomorrow I hope." I sighed, I hope he didn't worry about me all night. And what did he need to tell me? "So do you just want me to drop you off at home?" Kiba asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Yeah. Do you have any aspirin?" I asked, rubbing my head. "Yep, in the console." I opened the console and dug around a few minutes before finding the bottle of aspirin. "My head is fucking killing me." I groaned, popping two pills in my mouth and swallowing them dry. "Ew, gross. How do you even do that? I have to wash it down with some water." I shrugged.

When I finally got home I sat down on the couch and laid there for a few minutes. I'm so stupid.. I hope he doesn't find out. I pulled out my phone and texted Sasuke, "Hey, are you busy later?" While I waited I decided to make something to eat. I opened the mostly empty cabinets, I should probably do some grocery shopping, and pulled out a pack of instant ramen. By time I finally finished eating I got a text back from Sasuke, "Yeah, sorry. Maybe we can hangout tomorrow." I stared at my phone confused, what could he possibly be doing? I sighed, maybe he was still mad about last night. "Are you still upset about last night?" I texted back. A few minutes later he replied, "No, but hey I gotta go." Well, that was weird.

I decided I wouldn't worry about it right now. I would take a shower and spend the day with Kiba, and then I would stop by Sasuke's house. I doubt he's too busy to hang out tonight. I texted Kiba after my shower and he replied, saying he could pick me up in twenty. When Kiba finally picked him up he asked, "So have you talked to Sasuke?" I groaned, "Yeah, but he's acting all weird. He said he's too busy to hang out today." Kiba raised an eyebrow, "Too busy? Do you think he's home?" I thought about it for a minute, "I don't know. I don't know where else he'd be." Kiba nodded, "Do you wanna stop by his house first?" I checked the time, it was noon. I figured he'd still be home, "Yeah I guess so." Kiba pulled in front of Sasuke's apartment and I got out and knocked on the door. I waited a few minutes, but no one answered. Hmm… I jogged back to Kiba's car and got in. "No luck?" He asked. I shook my head, "Nope. He's probably just at the store or something, or maybe he's visiting his family." Kiba shrugged and they decided to go out to eat.

After we finished our food we decided to go to the mall. "Let's go to the arcade!" Kiba exclaimed. I grinned, "Alright!" I loved going to the arcade. I always beat Kiba at the shooter games and racing games. When it came to pinball though, Kiba definitely had me beat. "What do you wanna do?" Kiba asked. I looked around the arcade, "Definitely the new zombie shooting game!" Kiba pouted, "Aww come on you know you always beat me! Let's take turns on the pinball machine!"

"No way! At least my game is two player!"

"You just wanna play that because you love beating me!"

"Not true! Let's just do both!"

"Okay, pinball first!"

"Zombies first!"

We continued arguing like that for a few minutes but in the end I won - surprising since Kiba normally won the arguments. "Aww, it looks like someone's already playing it." I said sadly. I turned around, heading towards the pinball machine since I knew Kiba would insist they could play that while they waited. But Kiba didn't say anything. "Kiba?" I asked, turning around. "Dude, is that Sasuke?" he said, pointing to the zombie shooting game. My eyes widened. "Oh my god.." Kiba turned to me, "Who is that guy that he's with?" I shook my head, "I have no idea."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"It was nice seeing you again, Deidara." Sasuke said after Deidara handed him his receipt. Deidara smiled, "It was nice seeing you too, Sasuke." Sasuke took a seat with his new friends and Deidara took a deep breath and plastered a smile on his face as he greeted the next customer. "Welcome to Monzello's, what would you like?" the customer ordered and after they sat down Deidara was glad to have a break. It had been a busy night and honestly he was ready to go home. _It was nice seeing Sasuke_ he thought. _I should've got his number!_ he scolded himself for not thinking about it sooner. He looked at the tables and his eyes landed on Sasuke's table. _He's with his new friends.. I don't really want to bother him._ he thought and decided he would try to catch him on the way out. About an hour later the table finally got up and headed for the exit, Deidara didn't notice they were leaving until everyone left besides one person. He wore glasses and seemed like he kept to himself. "Hey, you're friends with Sasuke right?" Deidara asked him. The boy nodded. "Do you know his phone number?" He asked. The boy shook his head, "No, but I'm pretty sure we're headed to a party at a guy named Neji's house. Big mansion, loud parties. I'm sure you've heard of the place." Deidara thought about it for a minute, "Oh yeah, the house down on Benhill Road?" The guy in the glasses nodded. Deidara inwardly sighed, _this guy is almost as quiet as Sasuke was when I first met him._ "Oh, well thanks." Deidara said awkwardly and let the guy leave. _I guess I'll just have to go to the party when my shift is over. Thank god I get off in twenty minutes._ he thought.

Twenty minutes went by and he finally clocked out and got in his car. He shut the door and spent a good five minutes trying to start his car. _This thing is such a piece of crap, I should really consider buying something newer _he thought and was thankful when it finally did start. He turned on the heat immediately, _God it's cold._ _I'd really like to live somewhere tropical… _he mused while he waited for his car to warm up. _The only problem is the dang volcanos, they erupted and spewed their hot liquid. Ooh, I wonder if it's like an explosion. Explosions are cool. Hell, I'd rather swim in lava if it meant I didn't have to be in this terrible cold weather._ His mind jump quite a bit and he snapped back to reality. He pulled out of Monzello's and went down Ivor Street, which eventually branched off to Benhill Road. The drive was a lot longer than he anticipated, and he noted it had been at least an hour since the group had left when he finally got to the huge mansion. _Jeeze, it'd be nice to have this much money. _Deidara thought sadly as he climbed out of his slowly falling apart car.

He entered the noisy house and looked around the crowd of people. After ten minutes of looking for Sasuke and failing he decided to look for Neji. He had only met him twice before but maybe he saw the raven haired boy he was looking for. Neji wasn't hard to spot, he was standing next to his girlfriend Tenten along with another boy. "Hey, Neji?" He asked, approaching the small group. Neji raised an eyebrow, "Hey Deidara, I haven't seen you in awhile." Deidara forced a smile, "Yeah, I'm actually looking for someone. Do you happen to know if a guy named Sasuke is here?" Neji opened his mouth to speak, but the other guy who was standing next to him spoke up instead, "Sasuke? Oh yeah, he didn't come. His good friend is here though, Naruto Uzumaki. He has blonde hair and he's pretty loud. Last I saw him he was in the bathroom but I'm not sure where he disappeared to after that." Deidara nodded, trying to take in all that information. _I came all the way here and he isn't even here… _Deidara thought sadly. Neji looked clearly annoyed, "Thanks, Lee. The question was directed at me, you know?" The guy named Lee let out a nervous laugh, "Sorry Neji." Deidara interrupted them, "Thanks, I'll be going now." Neji nodded him a goodbye and Lee waved a goodbye.

_Should I really leave after coming all the way here? Maybe I could find that Naruto guy? _He decided to stay a little while longer and search for Naruto. He has to be around here somewhere. After checking all downstairs, he decided to check upstairs. He saw a blonde haired boy being dragged into what seemed to be a spare bedroom by a pink haired girl. _That must be him, it has to be. _Deidara thought and grabbed the blonde's arm before he was fully inside the room. The blonde looked up at him, clearly dazed and unaware of what was happening around him. "Naruto, come on." the pink haired girl said, tugging on him harder. When she saw Deidara she shot him a glare, "What do you want?" Deidara rolled his eyes, "Drop the attitude, I hate when people are shitty for no reason." and turned his attention to Naruto, "You're Naruto right?" he asked.

Naruto nodded slowly, trying to focus on the boy in front of him. "Look, I'm looking for Sasuke and I know he's not here but would you happen to have his number?" Deidara asked. Naruto pulled out his phone and scrolled to Sasuke's number, handing the phone to Deidara. "Here," he mumbled. Deidara quickly transferred Sasuke's number into his own phone and handed Naruto his phone back. "Thanks," he said. The pink haired girl rolled her eyes, "Is that all?" she said, crossing her arms. "Fuck off," Deidara said and turned to leave. He heard the girl gasp but he didn't really care. She seemed like a bitch anyway. Deidara noted the girl pulled Naruto into the room and slammed the door, clearly pissed off. _What's he doing hanging with a girl like that anyway? _Deidara thought, but decided to drop it. _I'm sure Sasuke is asleep now, so I'll just text him in the morning. _And with that he left Neji's party, entering his crappy car and eventually made it home.

* * *

><p>Sasuke woke up relatively early the next day, which was pretty surprisingly considering he slept terribly that night. He woke up around 7:30 and saw he had a text from an unknown number. He furrowed his brows, <em>Who could possibly be trying to get ahold of me? <em>He opened the text and it read, "Hey, It's Deidara. I got your number from one of your friends and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today? Catch up and stuff, just like old times. Maybe we can even go to this awesome arcade, I could pick you up whenever." Sasuke smiled, he really missed Deidara and spending the day with him would take his mind off of Naruto. He texted back, "That would be great, pick me up at 2:30." He had class around noon and would probably get home around 1:30, which gave him around an hour to get ready.

Sasuke snuggled back into his blankets. _So warm… _he thought. _Maybe I can take a nap_. He was about to drift back to sleep when he stomach growled loudly. _Or not. _he thought sadly and got up to make some breakfast. He went to his kitchen and cook some bacon and eggs and a piece of toast. He sat down and started digging in and then got a text from Naruto. "Hey are you busy later?" Sasuke sighed, he really didn't want to deal with Naruto right now, he texted back a vague, "Yeah, sorry. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow." He didn't want to think about Naruto today, with everything that happened yesterday he was beyond stressed out. Besides, tomorrow they wouldn't have to talk about that stupid party or anything. They could talk about how he was reunited with his old best friend. Sasuke smiled again, it would be nice to catch up with Dei. Naruto texted back again, "Are you still upset about last night?" Sasuke figured he'd jump to conclusions so he just said no and told him he had to go. The blonde would probably be confused but he'd explain himself later.

The next few hours went by in a breeze and Sasuke was ready to hang out with Deidara. "Be there in five," Deidara texted him and Sasuke waited outside his apartment. Deidara was always punctual, he hated when people were late, so Sasuke was a bit surprised when Deidara pulled up seven minutes late. "Hey, sorry I'm late," he said embarrassed, "My car likes to put up a fight and it took me a good five minutes to even get it started." Sasuke laughed, "Hey, it's fine. I can't say anything about your car, considering I don't even own one. It's better than nothing." Deidara agreed, "Yeah, but still, I'm afraid it's gonna quit workin on me one of these days." he paused, "What if it just exploded?" Sasuke laughed, Deidara was always obsessed with explosions. "Well, you always did like explosions." Deidara nodded, "I wouldn't mind leaving with a bang!" Sasuke chuckled, "So are we gonna sit here all day or actually go somewhere?" He teased. Deidara's eyes lit up, "Let's go to the arcade in the mall!" Sasuke smiled, "I miss when we would go to the arcade when we were younger." Deidara remembered, "Yeah, me too. Your brother would always go too. Speaking of Itachi, where's he at?" Sasuke frowned. He missed the days when his brother would always spend time with him, they use to be so close. Sasuke, Dei, and Itachi were always together. After the death of their parents, Itachi had disappeared. He just left Sasuke all alone, and he wasn't even present at the funeral.

"I don't know…" Sasuke said finally. Deidara furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean?" Sasuke looked away, "After you left… well, my parents were killed. Itachi disappeared around the same time and I haven't heard from or seen him since…" Deidara looked serious, "Damn… I'm so sorry Sasuke. I wish I could've been there for you.." Sasuke bit back his tears, "Why did you leave, Dei? Ever since you left.. I've felt so alone. I lost everyone I loved in such a short amount of time." They had just pulled into the mall parking lot and Deidara turned off the car and turned to Sasuke. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, "I'm so sorry, Sasuke.. I would've been there for you if I could've.. Things in my life were falling apart. It started with my parents. They were constantly fighting, they eventually got divorced and my dad was offered a job all the way over here. I decided to go with him because he said there were great opportunities here for me, when I graduated I was able to attend a really nice Art school. Another reason I left was because I was rejected by the person I loved, and I knew staying there would just hurt more. That town holds so many bad memories, and I needed to get away." Deidara was still holding on to Sasuke and was even crying at this point. "Dei.. Why didn't you tell me you were going through so much? You always insist on being here for me but you never tell me your problems. You were always smiling…" Sasuke said, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry Sasuke. I didn't want you to know, I didn't wanna bring you down with me. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did, but I'm here now," Deidara said, giving a hopeful smile. Sasuke wiped his tears away, and nodded, "I'm glad. You can tell me anything, you know?" Deidara returned the nod, "I know, now come on, let's have some fun!" he said, throwing on a huge grin.

"Haha what if I had laser eyes?" Deidara joked on their way to the arcade. He pretended he had laser eyes and said, "Pew, pew. Pew!" and burst out into a fit of laughter. Sasuke laughed, he appreciated Deidara's attempts to cheer him up. As soon as they got to the arcade they both looked at each other instantly and said, "Let's play the Zombie Shooter Game!" and laughed. "You're going down!" Sasuke said, grabbing the fake gun and hitting the start button. "I'd like to see you try to beat me!" Deidara fired back, shooting the first wave of zombies. Twenty waves of zombies later, Deidara jumped up and down, "Hell yeah! Sucks to suck!" Sasuke rolled his eyes, "I totally would've won but I ran out of ammo!" Deidara laughed, "Yeah, yeah. Excuses!"

"Um… hey," A voice said behind Sasuke. Sasuke turned around, "Naruto? Kiba? What are you guys doing here?" Naruto shrugged, "I guess we had the same idea." Deidara stared at the blonde, he was the guy he met at the party last night. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Naruto asked Sasuke. Sasuke nodded cautiously and turned to Deidara, "Sorry, Ill be right back." Deidara nodded and was left alone with Kiba. "Who are you?" Kiba said a bit rudely. "Um, Deidara. I'm one of Sasuke's friends." Kiba narrowed his eyes at Deidara. "You better be just a friend." Deidara raised an eyebrow, "What's it to ya?" Kiba crossed his arms, "Look, I'm just looking out for Sasuke. He's dating Naruto and I don't want anything to get in the way of their relationship." Deidara looked surprised now, "Wait, that's his boyfriend?" Part of him wanted to yell, "The only thing getting in the way of their relationship is that pink haired bitch that he met at the party last night." but the other part of him refrained from that and decided it was best to keep silent right now. He didn't want Sasuke to get hurt, so he figured he would have a word with Naruto later. Before Kiba could reply, Sasuke and Naruto returned. "I guess we'll be leaving," Naruto said. Kiba nodded, "Nice meeting you, Deidara." Deidara nodded, "Yeah." Sasuke waited for them to leave before saying, "Let's do something else." Deidara agreed, he noted that Sasuke seemed a bit off but shrugged it off. "Sounds good,"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Sasuke woke up the next day with a pounding headache. He rolled over and checked the time on his alarm clock. He groaned, it was already noon and he had plans with Naruto at one. _I can't remember the last time I slept in this late,_ Sasuke noted, sitting up. He put his head in his hands and massaged it. _God it hurts so bad_. He finally got up and took a couple aspirin and made breakfast. He was both excited and nervous to spend the day with Naruto. It had felt so long since they last hung out, when in reality, it was only two nights ago. Sasuke couldn't believe how quickly his life was changing around him. He went from being a loner who stayed home everyday to having a boyfriend and going out with friends. He thought about everything that has happened recently, and he felt that he should be happy, he should be smiling and be excited to see Naruto, but something felt off. He got his best friend back, his relationship is fine, so what was it that was bothering him so bad? Normally he would dwell on it for hours, but he convinced himself everything was fine and decided he would try to enjoy today.

After eating a quick lunch, Sasuke thought a shower would make him feel better. He undressed and stepped in the steamy, hot water. He wasn't a huge fan of baths, so he did the next best thing. He took showers but sat down and let the warm water pour down on him. He sighed, enjoying the relaxing feeling of the shower, and reminisced about the previous day. It was really nice spending time with Dei, but it was a bit unsettling seeing someone from his past. He thought about how he told Deidara about what happened with his parents and Itachi. _Itachi… Where are you Itachi? _Sasuke wondered. He honestly hadn't thought about him in a long time, he tried to repress all his memories of the past. He wanted nothing more than to forget everything that happened. _Itachi and Deidara disappeared around the same time… and now Deidara is back. I wonder if… no. That couldn't happen. _Sasuke pushed the thought out of his head quickly, he couldn't think like that, but more questions kept popping in his head. _If Itachi came back what would I do? Would I be mad? Of course I would, he left me to suffer all alone. Would I be happy? I would… but the real question is, could I forgive him? And why did he even leave in the first place? _So many questions plagued his mind and he tried to think about something else. _At least Naruto is coming over soon, he'll take my mind off things. _He tried to fight back the smile that was forming on his face. Although the last two days had been rocky with Naruto, he was suddenly really excited to see him. Hanging with Deidara was nice, but he was a reminder of his past, while Naruto on the other hand was a reminder of the present and future.

Feeling cheered up, Sasuke quickly washed his hair and turned off the water. When he got to his room his eyes widened when he noticed the time, it was already 1:13! He threw his clothes on in a rush and picked up his phone to see a text from Naruto, "I'm on my way." _He should be here in a few minutes then._

* * *

><p>Deidara sighed, he was having a terrible day and it had barely even began. It all started when he woke up this morning for class, he oversleep and had to rush to get dressed. He threw on a random shirt off the floor and some pants and rushed out the door, he didn't even have a chance to brush his hair. He frowned, feeling his hair. It was a tangled mess. He mentally added 'Bad Hair Day' to the list. Not only did he rush out the door that morning, his car was also against him as always. He spent more time trying to get the thing to start than he did actually getting ready. He ended up twenty minutes late, and his teacher wasn't too pleased. Class ended at 11:30 and he had plans with his boyfriend at noon. The only problem was his Art school was approximately thirty minutes from the restaurant he was supposed to meet him at. Luckily his car eased up on him and didn't fight back this time, and now here he was at the restaurant. His boyfriend, Sasori, was actually running late. Deidara frowned. He could've stopped by his house on the way and did something about his terrible bed head. Sasori didn't keep him waiting long though, he arrived after another five minutes and took a seat across from Deidara. "Hey babe," Deidara said, leaning over the table and giving his boyfriend and quick kiss. Sasori just looked at him with a blank face, "Dei, you know how I feel about PDA." Deidara rolled his eyes and looked around, "There's barely any people here anyway!" Sasori glared at him and Deidara glared back. After a few seconds Deidara gave up, "Alright, I'm sorry." Normally he would be too stubborn to apologize, even over something that small, but he was too tired to put up much of a fight. Sasori laughed, "Hey, you know I was kidding." Deidara pouted, crossing his arms, "It's impossible to tell when you're kidding! Sometimes I'm not sure you even have emotions," he joked. Sasori pretended to be hurt, "I have feelings too!" Deidara laughed, "I know, I know."<p>

He remembered when he first met Sasori, it was a few months after he started attending college. They met in one of his art classes, it was a drawing class. He remembered he was working on a flipnote of a firework exploding. It was one of those things where you quickly flipped through all the pages and it was a short animation. He made the firework full of lots of bright colors, he always loved fireworks because they were a beautiful display of art. They lasted but a few seconds, but he felt that true art is when beauty is captured in that single fleeting moment of explosion. Sasori had watched him work on the short flipnote for awhile, until he finally got up to talk to him. "What's so special about fireworks?" Sasori asked. Deidara grinned, he loved sharing his ideas of art with people. "True art is an explosion! Fireworks capture the beauty of art." Sasori shook his head, "I disagree." he said. Deidara raised an eyebrow, "Well what would you consider art?" Sasori always looked emotionless, but when Deidara asked him that he actually smiled. "I think true art is something that lasts forever, something that has eternal beauty." Deidara disagreed, but hearing a new view on art interested him. "Like what?" he asked. What form of art could possibly last that long? "Puppets. They're so detailed and they capture the true essence of beauty eternally. Unlike humans, they are able to maintain the way they look forever."

Deidara smiled, thinking about that memory. They argued every so often on what view of art was better, but in the end he really was glad they had different opinions. Sasori had made him more open minded and made him see that art is beautiful - whether it lasts a short amount of time or lasts forever. He still preferred short-lived beauty though. "What are you smiling about over there?" Sasori teased. Deidara's smile widened, "Just thinking about how we first met." Sasori smiled too, "You're lucky you met me." Deidara furrowed his brows, "What do ya mean?" Sasori held back a laugh, he knew he was about to get Dei fired up. "Well you wouldn't have known what true beauty was without me telling you," he teased. Deidara stubbornly pouted, "I'm not talking to you until you say true art is an explosion." Sasori rolled his eyes, "You're so difficult, Dei." Deidara fought back a smile, "So?" he continued to pout. Sasori glared at him for a minute, and when Deidara glared back he leaned over and kissed Dei on the cheek. Deidara blushed, Sasori was hardly ever affectionate, especially in public. "You're cute when you blush," Sasori commented. Deidara buried his face into his hands, "Don't look at me," he mumbled.

"Oh come on, it was a compliment, stop hiding." Sasori said. When Deidara refused, Sasori reached over and ran his hand through his hair. "Ew, did you even brush your hair today?" Dei moved away, "No. I didn't have time." Sasori laughed, "It's not like you can even tell the difference when you do brush it." Deidara came out of his hiding and narrowed his eyes at Sasori, "What's that supposed to mean?!" Sasori stifled a laugh, "Your hair doesn't even have a part, it's just all over the place." Deidara didn't say anything, he was too busy looking at the people a few tables away. Sasori looked confused, "What are you looking at?" "Shhhh" Deidara said, "Holy shit." Sasori raised an eyebrow, "What is it?" Deidara sighed. "You remember my old friend I was telling you about, Sasuke?" Sasori nodded. "Well a few tables away is his boyfriend and his boyfriend's friend." Sasori nodded again, "Okay, then what's the problem?" Deidara frowned, "Well you see, I went to this party the other night." Sasori gave him a look, "Hey, I didn't do anything at the party. I only went because I was looking for Sasuke. Anyway, Sasuke wasn't even there, but his boyfriend was. I didn't even know it was his boyfriend until last night to be honest." Sasori sighed, "Will you just get on with it?" Deidara glared at him but continued, "I asked him for Sasuke's number and he gave it to me. He seemed like he was pretty out of it though, and he was with this girl with pink hair. She pulled him into this room and I'm 95% he cheated on Sasuke with that girl. When I was with Sasuke last night we ran into his boyfriend and I realized it was the guy from the party. I figured it was best to keep quiet and talk to him later."

Sasori nodded, "Are you gonna talk to him now then? I'll wait here if you want to." Deidara took a deep breath, "Yeah, I'll be right back." He stood up from the booth and walked over to Naruto and Kiba. "Hey," he said awkwardly as he approached them. He wasn't really sure how to go about the situation. Naruto looked up at Deidara, "You're Deidara right?" Deidara nodded. "What the hell are you doing here?" Kiba said. Deidara hated Kiba's attitude, it always sounded like he was accusing someone. The guy acted like he was ruining Naruto's relationship or something when in reality he was trying to save it. "Listen, I'm just gonna get straight to the point. You don't remember much from that party at Neji's do you?" Fear flashed on Naruto's face but he quickly composed himself. _What the hell did this guy know about Neji's party? _He thought. "What do you mean?" Naruto asked cautiously. "I saw you there, you gave me Sasuke's number. I'm guessing you don't remember. Here's the thing, I know you were with some pink haired girl and if my assumptions are correct you cheated on my best friend with some slut." Deidara answered. Naruto was speechless. This guy knew his little secret and he was also best friends with Sasuke. Could things possibly be any worse? Naruto sighed, feeling defeated, as if he had already lost Sasuke. "Are you gonna tell him?" Deidara shook his head, "No, I'm not. But I want you to know that you better not fuck up again or else I will. You have no idea what he's been through, he definitely doesn't need you to make his life any worse."

Naruto remained silent, lost in his thoughts. _You have no idea what he's been through? Did something happen to Sasuke before he met him? And if so why hadn't he told him? _"I'll be keeping an eye on you." Deidara said and walked away. Naruto glanced at Kiba, and Kiba shrugged and shook his head, "Damn." Naruto felt really shitty. He didn't mean to cheat on Sasuke, but even so Sasuke didn't deserve it. He deserved a lot better. Naruto was also upset that he didn't know virtually anything about Sasuke's past, Sasuke never brought it up and it was clear there was a reason why. Kiba stayed silent while Naruto processed everything. _Poor guy. God I hope everything is gonna be okay. _Kiba checked his phone. "Fuck, man! It's already one!" Naruto snapped back to reality, "We gotta go, I'm gonna be late to Sasuke's!" That was the last thing he needed, to upset Sasuke even more. He doubted being late a few minutes would honestly upset Sasuke but he didn't want to take the chance.

* * *

><p>Sasuke got up and answered the door to reveal a grinning blonde, <em>his<em> blonde. Sasuke smiled back and Naruto pulled him into a warm embrace, "I missed you so much," he mumbled into Sasuke's neck. Sasuke's heart beat faster, he hadn't realized how much he has missed Naruto, even though they had barely even been apart. "I missed you too," Sasuke admitted.

Sasuke pulled away and looked into the blonde's beautiful blue eyes. Sasuke noticed there was something different about them, they looked sort of sad. Sasuke resisted the frown that wanted to take over his face and smiled instead, he wanted to cheer the blonde up. "Come on," he said, pulling Naruto into his room and onto his bed. Naruto sat up and motioned for Sasuke to lay his head on his lap. Sasuke obliged and Naruto ran his hand through Sasuke's hair, playing with it. Sasuke looked up at Naruto and when Naruto's eyes met his, he gave a cute smile to him. "You're smiling an awful lot," Naruto noted. Sasuke fake pouted, "Would you rather me be like this?" he playfully threatened. Naruto frowned, "No! You're cute either way though," and leaned down, giving Sasuke a kiss on his cheek. "You have bad aim," Sasuke teased, "My lips are over here." Naruto rolled his eyes, "Funny." but leaned down and kissed his lips. Sasuke kissed him back and sat up, climbing onto Naruto's lap.

Naruto had to admit, he still wasn't use to kissing Sasuke and was even a little uncomfortable. It was all new to him, being with a guy. He ignored how uncomfortable he was and wrapped his arms around Sasuke. Naruto wasn't sure whether he was supposed to play the dominant or submissive role. He was obviously use to being dominant but being submissive wouldn't be a bad thing. As Sasuke moved his lips from Naruto's lips down to his neck, he realized Sasuke wanted to be the one in control. Sasuke lightly sucked and nipped at Naruto's neck, earning a soft moan from Naruto. He proceeded to move further down his body, kissing down to his collarbone and then lifting Naruto's shirt, looking for permission to take it off. Naruto nodded, and Sasuke tugged the shirt off. Sasuke's lips travelled near Naruto's nipples and he looked up at him, "If you're uncomfortable or not ready for anything, you can tell me to stop." Naruto wasn't sure what this was going to lead to but he was enjoying it for the most part and even if he wasn't ready he felt he owed it to Sasuke to go as far as he wanted. "Okay," Naruto said and Sasuke lightly sucked on his nipple, biting it softly to make it harden. Naruto let out a moan from the mix of pleasure and pain. Sasuke smirked, and moved down lower to Naruto's pants. He undid the button and unzipped his pants, tugging them off and tossing them on the floor next to the bed. Sasuke could see Naruto's erection, which was being restrained by his boxers. Sasuke nervously took Naruto's boxers off, revealing his erection. Sasuke lightly grasped it in his hand, and stroked it slowly, then leaned over and claimed Naruto's lips with his own. After a minute or two, Sasuke went back down to the erection and took a deep breath. "I-I've never done this before… so I hope I'm not bad." he said nervously. Naruto opened his mouth to tell him he'd be fine, but before he could Sasuke took him into his mouth and Naruto let out a deep moan. Sasuke felt encouraged by Naruto's reaction and swirled his tongue around the shaft, lightly sucking. Naruto groaned, "Fuck, that feels amazing." It felt better than anytime Sakura had ever gave him a blowjob. Sasuke continued to move his tongue along the shaft all the way up to the tip and repeated. He quickened his pace and Naruto's breathing became heavier, he could tell he was close already. "I-I'm … you might want to stop." Naruto struggled to say. Instead, Sasuke continued to please him until he finally released into his mouth. Sasuke wanted to gag, it was a gross texture, slimy and salty. He forced it down his throat and his eyes met Naruto's. "Was that okay?" He asked. Naruto nodded, "It was amazing," he said sitting up and giving Sasuke a peck on the lips. Sasuke smiled, "I'm glad." and wrapped his arms around Naruto, cuddling with him. Naruto smiled, he was glad Sasuke was happy. Maybe everything was alright after all. He could only hope that it was.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Sasori sighed, "Come on Dei, we're gonna be late. I hate being late, you know that." Deidara rolled his eyes, "You were late to our date a few days ago," he reminded his boyfriend. Sasori glared at him, "I felt bad about it." Deidara raised an eyebrow, "Didn't seem like it." He knew Sasori hated to keep people waiting, but he loved giving him a hard time about it. It wasn't like Sasuke really cared if they were five minutes late. "It was your idea to have me meet him today, so the least you could do is make sure we're on time." Sasori reminded him. Deidara nodded, "I know… but it's not my fault my car is a piece of crap! Thank god Christmas is coming up, hopefully I'll have enough to buy myself a new car." Sasori smiled, he didn't seem like the type to enjoy holidays but he really loved Christmas. "It's only a week away," Sasori noted. Deidara grinned, "I hope you're excited, I got you something that I think you'll really like." Sasori tried to hide his smile, which was getting bigger by the second, "You got me something?" Deidara nodded, "Well, more like made you something. I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I'll love it." Sasori reassured him. _I really need to get him a present_. Sasori thought. "Are you going anywhere for Christmas?" Sasori asked him. Deidara frowned, "No, I haven't spent Christmas with my family since my parents split up." Sasori reached his hand over to Deidara's and squeezed it, "We can celebrate it together if you want." and gave him a smile. Deidara lit up instantly, Sasori rarely showed this side of himself and it made him really happy when he saw it. Deidara squeezed his hand back, "You're the best." and leaned over to give Sasori a quick kiss on the forehead. Sasori blushed and looked away. He glanced out his window, it was snowing outside. The beautiful snow glistened on the ground, a whole world of white surrounded them. Sasori loved the pretty lights that decorated the houses and trees. Winter time was so magical to him because he grew up in a town located in a hot desert, a place where it never snowed. He hated the cold, but in the end it was worth it to see this magical time of the year. "You're awfully excited," Deidara teased. Sasori looked at him thoughtfully, "Do you like Winter, or Christmas?" Deidara thought about it for a minute, "Honestly I'm not a huge fan. It's way too cold, everything is dead, and I never got anything cool on Christmas because my parents were too poor." Sasori frowned. He wished Deidara saw it the way he did, but that was part of the reason he loved Dei, they always saw everything differently. _I'm going to do something amazing for him on Christmas, and then, just maybe, he'll appreciate it as much as I do. _"Hey, we're finally here!" Sasori snapped out of his thoughts, "About time!" Deidara shot him a look, "Let's go" Sasori nodded and they walked up to Sasuke's apartment door and knocked. A few seconds Sasuke emerged, "You guys are a little late, were the roads bad?" Sasori gave Deidara the 'I-told-you-we-were-gonna-be-late-and-he-even-noticed' look, while Deidara nodded, "Yeah it's snowing out there, but we made it in one piece." and Sasori muttered 'barely'.

Sasuke smiled, "Nice to meet you, you must be Sasori?" Sasori looked up at the boy, "It's nice to meet you too, Sasuke." Deidara realized this was the first time he had been to Sasuke's apartment, and as Sasuke led them into the living room he noticed everything was pretty empty. "Sasuke, don't you have a t.v.?" Deidara asked. Sasori elbowed him in the ribs, and whispered, "Don't be rude." Sasuke frowned, "No, I don't really have the money for one." Deidara smiled, "I'll buy you one for Christmas!" Sasuke's eyes widened, "Fuck, Christmas is next week isn't it?" Sasori nodded and turned to Deidara, "How are you gonna afford a t.v.? I thought you were gonna buy a new car." Sasuke motioned for them to sit down and they all took a seat on the couch, "You're getting a new car, Dei?" Sasuke asked. Deidara nodded, "Hopefully. I don't know, I have some money saved up but I'm definitely gonna try to buy you something." He knew Sasuke probably hadn't celebrated Christmas in the last few years considering he had no family and barely any friends until this year. Sasuke shook his head, "You don't have to do that, it's not a big deal." and hoping to change the subject, he added, "Do you guys want some hot chocolate? I think I have some marshmallows and whipped cream too." They both nodded. Sasuke got up and made the hot chocolate. Sasori looked around, he was surprised at how bare the apartment was. He had no posters or pictures or anything on the walls. "I take it he isn't a very creative person." Sasori commented. Deidara shook his head, "I don't know, he never use to be into art so I doubt he is now," Sasori nodded.

A few minutes later, Sasuke emerged from the kitchen, "Here ya go." he said, handing them their drinks. Deidara raised his eyebrow, "Are you not drinking any?" Sasuke shook his head, "No, I'm not really a fan of sweet foods or drinks." Sasori shrugged, "Suit yourself." There was an awkward silence that lasted a few minutes until Deidara broke it, "So, tell me about your boyfriend, Naruto." _Hanging out with two extremely quiet people was tough _Deidara thought, _looks like I have to keep up the conversation. _Sasuke smiled, "Yeah, he's great." Sasori looked at Deidara, "Isn't he the one who was with that pink-haired girl at that party?" Deidara's eyes widened. Sasori normally was silent but the one time he decides to really take place in the conversation he goes and says something like that. Deidara could tell that Sasori realized what he said and instantly regretted it. _I always say the wrong thing dangit. _Sasori thought. "W-What are you talking about?" Sasuke said confused.

Deidara panicked, "U-um. Well, I went to Neji's party the other night to find you, because I heard that's where your friends were headed. I found out you weren't there and Naruto gave me your number. He has with a group of people, a pink-haired girl, Neji and a guy named Lee" It was the truth, I mean those were the people that Naruto was last with at the party before he wandered off with the girl, at least that's what Neji said. He felt bad for lying to his best friend but what was he supposed to say? Yeah, I went to a party, caught your boyfriend cheating, no big deal. Sasuke slowly nodded, "Oh." he said. Deidara couldn't tell if he bought it or not but it seemed like he was going to drop it either way. Sasuke had no choice but to believe what Deidara said and hope nothing else happened. "Did you stay?" Sasuke asked. Deidara shook his head, "No, I was tired and ready to go home by time I got off work and got to the party." Sasuke nodded again. He wanted more answers, he was even more suspicious now about the party. He never got a chance to as Naruto anything about it. But the more he thought about it the less he wanted to know, things were finally seeming good again and he didn't want to ruin it.

"Speaking of working, do you work on Christmas?" Sasori asked Deidara. Deidara smiled, "Nope, I'm off. Although I could definitely use the holiday pay." Sasori smiled, "Maybe we could have a small get together at my house on Christmas." he said to Sasuke, "Me, You, Deidara, and Naruto? I mean if you weren't planning on going anywhere." Sasuke pondered it for a minute, "It sounds fun, I should be able to go but I'm not sure what Naruto's plans are. I'll have to ask him." Sasori nodded, "Alright, just let Dei know." Deidara turned to Sasori, "Hey, have you gotten my present yet?" Sasori blushed, embarrassed, "No." he muttered. Deidara grinned, "I have an excellent idea." Sasuke and Sasori gave Deidara a confused look, "What is it?" they asked in unison. "You," Deidara said pointing to Sasori, "And Sasuke could go Christmas shopping together. While me and Naruto go together. It'll be a bonding experience and this way we won't know what each other is buying for the other."

Deidara wasn't 100% comfortable with being around Naruto but he had to give the kid a chance, he knew Naruto made Sasuke happy so why not? Sasori shrugged, "Sure, why not?" Sasuke nodded, "Sure, when?" Deidara frowned, he hadn't really thought about that. "Um… how about tomorrow?" They all agreed. "Alright, tell Naruto I'll pick him up at 3. And ask him for directions to his house and text them to me." Deidara said. Sasuke nodded, "Alright." Sasori turned to Sasuke, "I guess I'll pick you up at 3 too?" Sasuke agreed, "Sure that's fine."

* * *

><p>The next day Naruto woke up and checked his phone. A text from Sasuke reminded him that Deidara was going to be there to pick him up at 3 and warned him to be ready on time. He scrolled through the rest of his texts, which were overflowing with texts from Sakura. She was constantly trying to get ahold of him. She would send him angry texts, "Stop ignoring me." and "Wow, I see how you are. Sleep with me and then just treat me like I don't exist." He rolled his eyes, he wasn't the one who forced himself on her in the first place. He sighed, he was really tired of dealing with her. Some of them made him feel bad though, the ones like, "I'm sorry I just.. I love you Naruto. Please text me back." and, "This really hurts me… I wish you would stop avoiding me." He scrolled down the last few, "Where were you tonight? You didn't come to the movies with us." He didn't go to the movies last night with the group, honestly he had to avoid the group because of her. He still spent time with Kiba though, they hung out the day before yesterday and they had plans tomorrow. He did miss the rest of the group though.<p>

He sent a quick reply to Sasuke, giving him directions to his house to give to Deidara, and then locked his phone, tossing it on his bed beside him. He got up and ran a hand through his hair. _Guess I better take a shower. _He thought and went to his bathroom, turning on the hot water and filling up the tub. He liked baths, they were relaxing and he honestly needed to relax right now. He was pretty nervous about spending the evening with Deidara. Would they get along? Would he be nice to him? Why would he be nice to him, he doesn't deserve his kindness. He took a deep breath and expelled all the thoughts from his head. He needed to relax, not let his mind wander. He turned off the water and slowly slipped into the tub. "Ahh, so warm," he said grinning like an idiot. _Today will be fine. _he reassured himself and wondered what he should get Sasuke for Christmas. What did Sasuke even like? He didn't have any posters, and he didn't really talk about anything he liked. _Did he even like anything? _Naruto remembered the first day he met Sasuke, it was in Chemistry and Sasuke seemed to be drawing in a notebook. _Maybe I'll get him a sketchbook. Or a nice journal, I bet he's into writing. _Naruto smiled, he was excited to get Sasuke a gift.

Naruto knew it was getting close to 3 so he finished up in the bath and got out quickly. He felt a lot better now that he had a little time to relax and take his mind off things. He rummaged through his clothes, wondering what to wear. He wasn't a huge fan of sweatshirts or long-sleeved shirts, they were too hot or uncomfortable for him. He preferred a t-shirt and jeans but sadly it was too cold for that. _I'll wear a t-shirt anyway, at least I'll have a coat on. _he thought. He got dressed and checked his phone, Deidara should be here any moment. Naruto decided to wait outside, he sat on the stairs leading up to his house and looked out into the white wonderland. The cold wasn't too bad, his body heat usually kept him warm enough. _I can't believe Christmas is less than a week away. _He never really enjoyed Christmas until he lived on his own. Growing up, he always had to hear how the other kids celebrated it with their family. How they made Christmas cookies, and opened presents. How they got candy in their stockings and decorated the tree. He never had a chance to do any of those things. He grew up in an orphanage, his mom died at birth and his father died shortly after in the war. His grandparents were supposed to take care of him, but they couldn't afford it. They had no choice but to send him to the orphanage.

He didn't know what it was like to have a family and he never experience the true holiday feeling. He spotted a family across the street, a mom and dad and a little girl. The girl stood in between the parents and held each of their hands. She laughed and smiled, "Daddy, the snow is so pretty!" she exclaimed. Her dad nodded, "It is." The mom looked down at the little girl, "Are you excited for Christmas sweetie?" The girls face lit up even more if that were possible, "Yes! Can we decorate the tree tonight?" The mom smiled, "Of course we can!" Part of Naruto wanted to frown, he had always wanted that. A family. But instead, he smiled. He was glad the little girl was so happy, and had a mom and a dad. He was the type of person who envied everyone else deep inside, but ultimately he was happy for them because he wouldn't want anyone else to go through what he did. Seeing other people happy made him happy. _I wonder if Sasuke is going to spend Christmas with his family _he thought.

**Honk. Honk. **A car horn snapped Naruto from his thoughts and he looked up to see Deidara in his driveway. He got in the car, "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." he mumbled. "It's no big deal, I just got here." Deidara replied. The first half of the drive was filled with awkward silence. Naruto glued his eyes to the window, pretending to be engrossed by the snow, while Deidara focused on the road. "Say something will you?" Deidara said, half-annoyed. He hated the tension and wanted to blonde to say something, anything at all. "Sorry.." Naruto said. He glanced at Deidara. He remembered Sasuke saying that Deidara had fun making up 'what-ifs' and tried to think of his own. He studied Deidara, honestly if Deidara cut his hair short and spiked it up, they could pass as brothers. "Don't stare at me like that." Deidara yelled. Naruto forced a smile, "What if you cut your hair short? We would almost be identical." Deidara gave him a serious face, "What if I don't give a fuck." Naruto was about to yell something like, 'hey, I'm trying here so stop being an asshole' but Deidara burst out into laughter. "You should see the look on your face, that was priceless. You looked so pissed off. I was totally kidding."

Naruto started laughing too, this guy wasn't too bad. "Listen, I don't think what you did was right-" Naruto interrupted, "I know, it wasn't right at all…" Deidara nodded, "and I don't forgive you at all. But I'm giving you a chance. You make Sasuke happy and it's the least I can do." Naruto smiled, "Thanks, that means a lot." Deidara smiled too, Naruto wasn't half bad. A few minutes later they pulled into the mall parking lot. They entered the building, enjoying the warmth of the mall after being out in the cold. Naruto was normally warm but Deidara's car didn't have heat and at one point Deidara threw a piece of trash out his window and his window got stuck. So they were both very thankful for the warm mall. "Where do you wanna go first?" Deidara asked Naruto. "Um… I was thinking about getting Sasuke a journal or something. Do you know where we could get that?" Deidara nodded, "I think that would be around the art department, and I needed to go there anyway." They headed towards the art department in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. Deidara broke the silence first, "So, are you doing anything on Christmas? Me, Sasuke, and Sasori were gonna spend it together and I wanted to see if you wanted to come. It was Sasori's idea, and it'll be at his house. I could give you a ride if you needed it."

"I would love to go," Naruto answered. "No one is going to celebrate Christmas with their families?" he asked. Deidara shrugged, "I guess not. I never really liked Christmas, and I haven't celebrated it with my family in years. My parents split during high school and even when they were together we were too poor to get a tree or presents." Naruto looked at Deidara intently, "I'm sorry to hear that." Deidara shook his head, "It's fine. It's only Christmas." Naruto nodded, honestly Christmas was just a day like any other day of the year. But that didn't stop him from wanting to enjoy it like everyone else does. "What about Sasuke? Why isn't he going to visit his family?" Deidara frowned, "Oh um… He's not really close with his family." Deidara wasn't sure what to say, he knew Sasuke would tell Naruto eventually but for now that was a good enough answer. "Well, here we are." They looked for a journal first. There were a few really nice ones but they were really expensive. Naruto frowned, "I don't have enough money for any of these." Deidara glanced at a few journals and after a few seconds of inspecting them he pulled out a simple black one, "How about this one? It's only twenty bucks and the pages looks nice. It's pretty plain and simple, so I'm sure Sasuke would like it." Naruto grinned, "Thanks, that's perfect!" Deidara laughed, "It's just a journal. It is pretty nice though. Does Sasuke write?" Naruto shrugged, "I'm honestly not sure but I sure hope so." Deidara gave him a reassuring smile, "I'm sure he'd like anything you get him. Come on, I gotta pick up a few art supplies for Sasori."

They went down a few aisles looking at various art items, paintbrushes, paint, tortillions, and more. Deidara looked through the items, trying to decide what to get Sasori. He reached out to grab one of the paintbrushes to see it closer when he felt somebody really close next to him. "Naruto give me some space," Deidara said, turning around. Deidara's breath caught in his throat and his eyes were wide, "I-Itachi?" He had so many things to say. Itachi grabbed Deidara's arm, "Come with me." Deidara broke away from Itachi's strong grip, "Naruto, I'll be right back. You can go pay for that if you want," Naruto looked puzzled but he let it go. _That guy, Itachi I think it was, looks really familiar… _Naruto noted. As soon as Naruto was out of earshot Deidara yelled, "What the hell are you doing here?" Itachi covered his mouth, "Be quiet will you? Do you know how dangerous it is for me to even be here?" Deidara furrowed his brows, lowering his voice, "What are you talking about?"

Deidara felt fear spread through his body as he suddenly realized what he meant. "No… you didn't. You weren't the one who… Itachi how the fuck could you?" Deidara wanted to cry, when he left all those years ago it was partly because deep down he knew what Itachi was going to do. "You decided to join them.. you killed your entire family for them didn't you?" Deidara said softly, feeling sick to his stomach. Itachi nodded, "When the Akatsuki gave me the chance to join them I was thrilled. They said all I had to do was kill my parents. You know how I felt about my parents, Dei. I was never good enough for them." Deidara felt anger and sadness running through his body, "They're _criminals _Itachi. You're a murderer… I know.. I know they didn't always treat you fairly, but how could you do that to Sasuke? And then just leave him there all by himself?"

Itachi crossed him arms, "Don't try to give me a guilt trip, you left him too. You left right before I did because you knew what was going to happen. Why didn't you accept the offer, Dei? We could've joined together." Deidara couldn't believe what Itachi was saying, "Are you serious? I-I couldn't do that. And I left because I knew the Akatsuki would come after me next. I wouldn't be surprised if you were here to kill me." Itachi shook his head, "No, I'm here to ask you to join again." Deidara refused, "Of course the answer is no. I didn't join then and I never will." Itachi frowned, and stepped closer to Deidara, cupping his cheek with his hand, "Aww, Dei. I thought you wanted to be with me, I thought you would do anything to stay with me." Tears pricked Deidara's eyes, "You've changed Itachi… Our friendship, our feelings… It's all in the past now. And sadly, that's where it belongs." Itachi frowned, pulling his hand away from Deidara's cheek. He walked passed Deidara and whispered, "You've made a big mistake.. everything could've been perfect for us Dei." and with that, he disappeared.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Deidara watched as other shoppers passed by him, shuffling around and looking for gifts. Gifts. That's what he was supposed to be doing right now, buying a gift for his boyfriend. He finally snapped out of his paralysis and decided he should find Naruto. He walked in a daze, thoughts clouding everything around him. Itachi was here, Itachi had just spoken to him only moments ago. It had been what, five years since he had last saw him? Why? What were his real intentions for being here? Deidara wasn't sure how to feel, he had just seen the boy he had once loved years ago. The last time he saw him, he was a quiet, intelligent boy who loved spending time with his brother and Dei. Itachi was always smiling and laughing along with them, but sometimes when Dei was alone with him he was completely silent and had a blank stare on his face. He was so mysterious, Deidara never knew that was going on in Itachi's head. It was sad, watching someone he once loved turn into a criminal, a murderer. Sasuke use to be a kid who always smiled and laughed, and now he has become sad and quiet. He does laugh and smile sometimes, but as soon as everything is silent he gets this look in his eyes. He looks so sad, and lost… and alone. In a way, it reminded him of the way Itachi use to look when he was alone with him. Itachi never talked about his feelings, he never told me his problems. Sasuke is a lot like his brother.

Sasuke. _What do I tell Sasuke? _Deidara thought. _I can't tell him.. it would be the last straw. It would break him, even more than he already was. Just when his life was finally coming together, Itachi came back to break it all again. _"Hey, what took you so long?" Naruto said when Deidara finally found him. He had no idea how long he had been wandering aimlessly through the aisles of the mall. "Sorry, I guess I got lost." he answered lamely. Naruto raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. A few seconds later he said, "So, who was that guy?" Deidara's blood ran cold. _Fuck, he saw him.. I just hope he doesn't mention this to Sasuke. _Deidara though. "Oh, just an old friend." Naruto nodded, "You seem a little shaken up, are you okay?" Deidara forced a smile, "Yeah, I'm just fine. Just thinking about what to get Sasori." Naruto smiled, "Oh yeah! You still have to get his present! What are you gonna get him?" he exclaimed loudly. Some shoppers that were passing by the two turned around. "Will you be quiet?! People are staring!" Deidara yelled. _I feel like Sasori, he's always telling me to be quiet. _Deidara thought. "Me?! You're yelling too! Louder at that!" Naruto argued. Deidara rolled his eyes, "You started it!" Naruto crossed his arms, "Wow what are we? 3?" Deidara narrowed his eyes at Naruto and then burst out laughing. Naruto gave him a confused look, "What are you laughing about?" Deidara kept laughing and had to catch his breath, "It's just funny how serious you look when you're arguing. It's hard to take you seriously."

Naruto gave Deidara a look and turned away from him, "Whatever, when can we leave anyway? I feel like we've been here for hours." Deidara sighed, "You can wait in the car if you want, I just have to pick up a few things and pay for them." he pulled out his keys and tossed them at Naruto who clumsily caught them, "Here, you might at well try to get it started and warmed up. It'll take a few minutes." Naruto groaned and muttered, "Your car is the worst." and headed towards the exit. Deidara took his time picking the few art supplies out, he found them pretty quickly. He spent a good ten minutes waiting in line and finally paid for the items. _I really hope Naruto got the car started _he thought. He stepped outside and cursed the freezing wind. He looked both ways and proceeded to cross the parking lot to get to the car. It was completely packed and he was ready to get out of there.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Deidara yelled as a car almost hit him. _I almost wish it did hit me, at least then I wouldn't be able to focus on how cold I was _he thought. He finally got to his falling apart car only to see Naruto still struggling to start the dang thing. "Ugh, are you serious? You still haven't got it started?" Deidara groaned. "Hey, don't blame me. It's not my fault your car is a piece of crap." Naruto retorted. Deidara set the bag of art supplies down in the back and motioned for Naruto to move so he could start the car. He grabbed the key and inserted it into the key hole, he turned and it sounded like it was trying to start but failed. "Huh.. this is weird." Deidara said. Naruto furrowed his eyebrows, "What?" Deidara tried again, getting the same result. "Normally it does this but do you hear that?" Deidara said, trying to start it again. "Something sounds wrong." Naruto nodded, "Check the hood." Deidara sighed, tired of dealing with the cold weather.

He got out and lifted to hood, "Are you fucking kidding me? The timing belt broke. Great, just what I needed. To be stuck at the mall in freezing cold weather." Deidara shut the hood and got back into the car, slamming the door behind him. Naruto turned to him, "Now what?" Deidara shrugged, "Is there anyone we could call? We aren't going anywhere unless you do." Naruto pondered it for a minute. "Well, I could call Kiba." Deidara sighed, "Fine." He really hated that guy but it wasn't like they had much of a choice. _I wonder how Sasori and Sasuke are doing _Deidara thought, _I'm their day has been a hell of a lot better than mine._

* * *

><p>Sasuke looked out the window of Sasori's car. He saw the bright lights that adorned the houses, and the glistening white snow. They pulled up to a stop sign, giving Sasuke enough time to peer into a nearby house. He saw a family decorating their tree, and adding presents underneath it. He saw them laughing and smiled, and all he felt was jealousy. It had been years since he enjoyed Christmas, or even celebrated it. He remembered how his mom use to go all out of Christmas dinner and how she made the best Christmas cookies ever. Itachi and Dad would always go find the biggest tree they could and they would place it near the fireplace. Everyone would decorate the tree, Sasuke always insisted on buying the tensile and covering the tree in it. The tensile always got everywhere, all over the floors and all over the house in general. His mom always complained about cleaning it up. <em>She doesn't have to worry about it anymore, <em>Sasuke thought cynically, _instead of tensile being scattered through the house, everything is stained in blood. Mom would probably dread scrubbing the walls and floors clean of the sticky red substance. _He didn't know why he was so upset over Christmas when he actually was spending it with his friends and boyfriend this year. He normally got sad when he saw families, but today he felt angry. It wasn't right that he had to suffer all alone, how could his family be taken away from him like that?

Sasori finally broke the silence, pulling Sasuke out of his dark thoughts. "So, what are you gonna get Naruto?" Sasuke shifted in his seat, turning slightly to face the red head. "I honestly don't know." Sasori smirked, "I know exactly what you should get him." Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? What's that?" Sasori's smirk grew wider, "Just wait, I'll show you." Sasuke had no idea what the boy had in store for him but twenty minutes he was actually quite amused to see what the red head was thinking. Sasori pulled him into the men's underwear section of the mall and pulled out a men's thong. Sasuke burst out laughing, it wasn't often he laughed around strangers but he really liked Sasori's taste in gifts. It was a thong, and the part that covered the penis was a candy cane. It was absolutely perfect for a Christmas gift. Sasori joined in on his laughter, "I think it's perfect." he commented. Sasuke nodded, "I'm definitely getting this." Sasuke took the thong from Sasori's hands and they went to the counter to pay for them. The cashier gave them a weird look, and both boys responded by rolling their eyes at her. Sasuke liked how similar they were.

They paid for the item and were on their way to the next department. "So are you getting Deidara something like this?" Sasuke lifted up the bag, "Or something more serious?" Sasori opened his mouth to respond, but at the same moment Sasuke's dark eyes locked with another pair of similarly dark eyes. Sasori continued talking but he heard none of the words, everything around him disappeared. He froze in place, his heart hammered in his chest. "I-Itac-" he tried to call out Itachi's name but his voice wavered and betrayed him. Anger, fear, and despair rushed through him. Itachi broke their eye contact and turned away from Sasuke, and he began walking away. At this point Sasori looked at Sasuke, he kept shaking his arm and asking him if he was okay but Sasuke ignored him, he rushed toward his brother. His brother turned around, noticing him running towards him, and ran as well. The only problem was, he was much faster than Sasuke. Sasori continued to call after Sasuke but his words didn't reach him, Sasuke had already chased Itachi all the way out of the store and into another.

"Stop!" He called out after Itachi. Itachi ignored him and continued to run away. He was slowly but surely slipping away, distance continued to grow between them. He had finally saw his brother, and he was already leaving him, stranded alone, all over again. _No, I won't let that happen. I can't let that happen _Sasuke thought. He forced himself to go faster and he caught up to his brother, grabbing his arm. He tugged on his arm, forcing Itachi to turn and face him. Sasuke looked at his brother, he didn't look much different than the last time he saw him. Here he was, standing face to face with his brother. For a minute, it was almost as if time had frozen and the last five years were a terrible nightmare. If everything was just a nightmare, they could be together laughing and shopping for presents. They could joke and be happy and everything could be fine. But unfortunately that wasn't the case. His brother did not smile at him, he just glared at him with cold eyes. "What do you want?" he said coldly.

He just stared at him, he had no idea what to say. Throughout the years he had anticipated this moment, dreaded it and hoped for it. He knew what he wanted to ask or say, but the moment had finally came and he couldn't think of one thing to say. His mind was a complete blank. "Why? Why did you leave Itachi?" Itachi didn't answer at first, he almost looked as if he was plotting something instead. "I could answer you, I could tell you everything. But I'm not going to. Not yet." Sasuke felt angry, "What do you mean not yet? Don't you think five years is long enough?" Itachi smirked, it was almost sinister, "Enjoy your Christmas little brother, I have a very special gift for you this Christmas. I'll stop by your house the day after Christmas, don't tell anyone about this and be alone." Sasuke felt excited, scared, angry, and sad all at once. But he knew he wanted answers and to see his brother again so he agreed. _I just wish I knew exactly what this 'present' is… _Sasuke thought. "Sasuke!" Sasori called from behind him, he had finally caught up. Sasuke turned to see how far Sasori was behind him and then turned back around to tell his brother goodbye, but he was already gone. "Hey, what was that about?" Sasori asked suspiciously. "Sorry, I thought I saw someone I use to know. But come on, let's get Deidara's present."

* * *

><p>"There's Kiba's car," Naruto said when he finally saw Kiba pull into the mall parking lot. "About time." Deidara muttered, they had been waiting at least twenty minutes in the non heated car and he was almost an icecube. They got out of the car and walked over to Kiba's. Naruto's eyes widened when he saw who was in the car, "I'm sitting shotgun," he whispered to Deidara. Deidara narrowed his eyes and whispered, "I don't want to sit next to that slut bag." Naruto climbed in next to Kiba and whispered, "What the hell are you thinking? Why did you bring her with you?" Kiba sighed, "She wouldn't take no for an answer, I'm sorry." Deidara got in the back and sat as far as possible from Sakura. "Hey Naruto," Sakura said flirtily. Deidara rolled his eyes, "Shut up, your voice is annoying." Sakura crossed her arms, "Don't act like you don't think I'm hot." Deidara stifled a laugh, "I'm gay as fuck and even if I wasn't I still wouldn't be interested." Kiba let out a loud laugh and turned to Naruto, "I actually kinda like this guy," Deidara smirked and Sakura remained silent. "So, do you know what's wrong with your car, Deidara?" Kiba asked. Deidara sighed, "Who knows. The timing belt finally broke but it was barely starting before that anyway. I just need a new car." Kiba nodded, "Damn that really sucks. I know a guy named Sai, he has a pretty decent car and has been trying to sale it and get a new one. There's nothing wrong with it, he just wants to get a truck or something else. I'm sure he'd sell it to you for a decent price." Deidara nodded, "That would be nice, do you know how I could get ahold of him?" Kiba handed his phone to Deidara, "Here, his number is somewhere in my contacts," Deidara found the number and transferred it to his phone, "Thanks Kiba, that really helps." Kiba smiled, "Anytime."<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

The days leading up to Christmas flew by in a blur, and it was an understatement to say everyone was excited to spend it together. Sasuke woke up in a surprisingly good mood, he stretched in his bed and sat up, yawning. It was only 8 and he didn't have to be at Sasori's til tonight. A few days ago he was almost dreading Christmas, not because he didn't want to go to Sasori's but because of the encounter with his brother. _I wonder what he meant by having a present for me _Sasuke thought. It didn't matter, he wouldn't know til tomorrow anyway. He decided he would enjoy today. The last few years he was unable to enjoy the holiday and he wasn't going to let his brother ruin this year for him. _I wonder what Naruto got me for Christmas _he thought, and smirked when he thought of the present he got Naruto. He couldn't wait for him to open it and see his reaction.

Sasuke finally pulled himself out of bed and into his kitchen to make some breakfast. He felt extra festive and happy today so he decided to make a snowman pancake with a bacon scarf. He thought his snowman looked incomplete without a face and looked through his fridge for something to use for eyes. He honestly didn't have much in his fridge, he didn't really buy anything extra that he didn't need. Then he remembered, he had a bag of chocolate chips that he could use for eyes. He bought the chocolate chips so that he could make some treats to bring to Sasori's house. He took his time eating his breakfast, he hated the fact that he woke up so early, especially when he didn't have to be there til late tonight. The worse part was he didn't have much to do while he waited. He finished the last bite of his pancake and all that was left was the sticky maple syrup. It was as if Sasuke brutally murdered the snowman, poking at it's fluffy body, and the maple syrup was it's blood spilling out.

He laughed a little thinking about that, most people wouldn't understand his dark humor. He glanced at the clock only to see that time was passing by painfully slow. He rummaged through his cabinets and fridge looking for ingredients to make cookies. _Hmm.. I wonder if I still have those cookie cutters… _Sasuke wondered. He spent a few minutes tearing through more cabinets and finally found them. "Perfect," he said aloud. He had a tree, gingerbread man, present, star, and snowman cookie cutters. He spent the rest of his afternoon baking sugar cookies and decorating them nicely. Before he knew it, time had breezed by and he wrapped up the last of the cookies and took a quick shower.

* * *

><p>"Hey you should probably go get them," Sasori told Deidara as it was nearing six. Deidara groaned, he really didn't want to deal with the cold. "Don't complain. You know you're excited to show them your new car." Sasori added. Deidara grinned and got up, "True. At least the heat works and it actually starts up." he said happily. Kiba's friend, Sai, really hooked him up. He only charged him 200, and it ran in perfect condition. Deidara walked over to Sasori, wrapping his arms around him, and whispered, "I'll be back." and kissed his cheek. Sasori's face flushed almost as red as his hair and he mumbled something along the lines of 'get out of here'. He was clearly flustered. Deidara laughed, he loved his adorable red head.<p>

He got in his new and improved car and it roared to life the first time he tried to start it. "Ahh, life is good." he said, smiling. The car even had seat warmers. Seat. Warmers. Deidara was practically in heaven in his new car. He picked up Naruto first, and was quite amused with Naruto's response to his car. "Damn, this is what Sai sold you?" Deidara nodded, "For only 200!" Naruto's jaw dropped, "No way! I should try to buy something from him." Deidara laughed, "He's a pretty cool guy, he really hooked me up. Now get in here!" Naruto obliged happily and felt instantly warm when he sat down. "Woah, it's super warm in here." Deidara nodded happily, "Seat warmers bro." They continued small talking until they got to Sasuke's apartment and Sasuke was also very impressed by his new car. "Nice, huh?" Deidara asked. Sasuke nodded in approval, "It is really nice. A lot better than your old car." he teased. Deidara laughed, "Andd andd, theres seat warmers!" Sasuke pouted, "There's not seat warmers in the back," Naruto offered to trade Sasuke spots but he declined saying he was warm enough where he was.

They finally got to Sasori's house, the moment they'd all been waiting for. It was obvious everyone was excited to share their gift. Everyone honestly was more excited to give than to get. "Who wants to go first?" Sasori asked. Everyone looked at each other, deciding who should go first. Deidara nudged Naruto, "You go first." Naruto nodded, for some reason he felt super embarrassed to give Sasuke his gift. He was used to doing Secret Santa with Kiba and the group every year, but this was a bit different. This was his boyfriend, and he didn't even know if his boyfriend would like the present. "Well, um.. here it is." Naruto said awkwardly, pushing the wrapped gift in to Sasuke's hands. Sasuke smiled warmly at Naruto and slowly unwrapped the gift. He lifted the journal out of the ripped paper and examined it, touching the smooth cover and flipping through the pages. It was a simple journal, and Sasuke loved it. He never really wrote anything before but now he could. Maybe he'd even like it. "I really like it," He said to Naruto, smiling. "Thanks." and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Naruto was speechless, he was happy Sasuke loved his gift and it made him even happier to see Sasuke smiling. Deidara shrugged nonchalantly, "I helped him pick it out, no big deal." Sasuke laughed and Naruto rolled his eyes playfully. "Your turn, Deidara." Naruto said, nudging him this time. Deidara grabbed his wrapped present and an envelope and handed it to Sasori. "I wasn't really sure what to get, but I hope you like it." Deidara said honestly. Sasori opened the present first to reveal a few art supplies that he needed. He thanked Deidara and then proceeded to open the envelope. Deidara blushed slightly as he opened it. It was a picture Deidara drew of them, they were together holding hands next to a beautiful sunset. Sasori smiled, "I love it, Dei. It's really cute." Deidara blushed, "Not as cute as you." he said smoothly. Sasori laughed, "Smooth." and then turned to Sasuke, "Give Naruto your present."

Sasuke tried to stifle his laughter and he handed Naruto his gift. He saw the grin on Sasori's face and they were both waiting for Naruto's reaction. "Oh. My. God. Hahahaha" Deidara couldn't hold in his laughter. Sasori shrugged nonchalantly, mimicking Deidara from earlier when Sasuke opened his gift and said, "I helped him pick it out, no big deal." Naruto stared at the underwear, if you could even call it underwear and blushed embarrassingly. "I.. I uh.." He didn't know what to say. "Try it on!" Sasuke urged. Naruto's face turned an even darker shade of red, "W-What?!" he exclaimed. The other two encouraged him as well, "Do it! Do it!" Naruto sighed and stood up, "Oh gosh…" he said and went to the bathroom to change. After a few minutes he called, "I'm done." Sasuke smirked, "Come on out." Naruto shook his head, "I don't wanna." Deidara rolled his eyes, "Come on just get out here already."

Naruto emerged from the bathroom with just the thong on. Everyone's faces burst into flames when they saw the blonde's nice body and firm ass. "Um.. uh.. I think you should change back." Sasuke said, trying to suppress his growing erection. Naruto frowned, "Don't like what you see?" Sasuke shook his head, "Quite the opposite, actually." Naruto's eyes widened and he understood why Sasuke wanted him to change, "oh.. uh yeah I um.. I'll be back." he said quickly and rushed back into the bathroom. "Nice ass!" Deidara yelled. Sasori nudged him and pouted. Deidara put his arm around him, "You know you're the only one I have eyes for," he reassured him.

When Naruto finally changed and all was calm it was Sasori's turn. He wanted to go all out this year, show Deidara how special Christmas really is. He got him the best gift of all, and he already knew he was going to love it. "Alright Sasori, where's my present?" Deidara asked, noticing that he wasn't holding a wrapped gift. "Let's all go outside," Sasori answered. Deidara gave him a puzzled look but they all got up and went outside. "I'll be right back, wait here." They all nodded. Deidara waited, and shivered. It was freezing and he really just wanted to go back inside. After a few seconds he flinched when he heard a loud bang. He looked up to see the sky lit with a beautiful sparkly green color. He heard the crackle and it faded back into the dark night sky. A few seconds later another firework lighted the sky, shimmering gold and red. It lit up the sky enough that he could see the beautiful snow covered trees and ground. Everything about the fireworks were entrancing.

A few more went off and he enjoyed their flashing beauty, he knew he would remember this moment forever. After a few more went off, Sasori returned and kissed Deidara, just as the final firework lit up the sky. "I hope you liked it." Sasori said. Deidara grinned wildly, "I loved it.. I love you," It certainly was a memorable Christmas for everyone. "Now let's go back inside," Deidara said, shaking from the cold. They all got inside and Sasuke went into Sasori's kitchen and got out the plate of cookies he made earlier that day. "Here, I made some Christmas cookies." Sasuke said, offering them to his small group of friends. "mmm, they're amazing," Naruto said, savoring the taste. Sasuke smiled, "Well, I made plenty!"

Sasuke watched as Naruto, Deidara, and Sasori all talked and smiled and laughed with one another. He wished life could always be this good, he would do anything to have everyday be like this. He was really not looking forward to going home and facing his brother tomorrow. He felt as though his brother was bad luck. Everything is perfect, and he didn't want his brother's visit to somehow ruin it. He could feel it… there was something not genuine about his brother's visit. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind and joined in the conversation. He wanted to laugh and smile along with them, even if for some reason this would be the last time. He wouldn't spend this amazing night worrying about how the next might be. His brother was a problem he would deal with another day, even if that day happens to be tomorrow. _Nothing could possibly go wrong now, _Sasuke assured himself, _everything will be just fine. _But little did he know that his happiness could be taken away so quickly…


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Sasuke woke up the next day with a sick feeling in his stomach. Today was the day he finally was going to talk to his brother, and he wasn't prepared at all. He didn't even know what to prepare for - anything was possible at this point. Sasuke surveyed the room, and remembered he stayed the night at Sasori's. He sat up, causing the blonde boy next to him to stir. Naruto opened his eyes for only a second before he scrunched them shut again due to the bright sun in his eyes. Sasuke smiled as the blonde wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer. He ran his hand through the blonde's hair and leaned down, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Then, after a few minutes, he rolled out of Naruto's grasp and got up to find Deidara. Naruto frowned, opening his eyes, "Where are you going?" Sasuke finished putting his clothes on, gave Naruto a quick kiss and told him, "I gotta get home, I'll text you later." Naruto furrowed his brows, wondering what was so important that Sasuke had to leave right that moment but was too tired to interrogate him. "Fine…" he mumbled, snuggling up in the blankets.

Sasuke went into the kitchen to find Sasori and Deidara chatting and eating bacon and eggs. Sasori smiled, "About time you got up, where's Naruto?" Sasuke frowned, "What time is it?" he normally woke up early, so it couldn't be too late. "It's already one in the afternoon." Sasuke's eyes widened. He had no idea what time Itachi would be at his house and he wanted to make sure he was there first so he could try to prepare himself. "Is something wrong?" Deidara asking, noticing the worry on Sasuke's face. Sasuke quickly composed himself and shook his head, "No, I should just get home soon." Deidara nodded, "I could take you here in a few minutes." and Sasori motioned toward the table of food, "You can eat before you leave." Sasuke was pretty hungry, but he feared if he ate he would just throw it back up. He shook his head, "I'm not hungry, besides when Naruto wakes up he'll probably eat whatevers left and still want more." he said, forcing a laugh. "Damn, it's still snowing out. I bet there's ice all over the windshield." Deidara said, inwardly cringing at the thought of going out in the cold. "I'll start the car if you want?" Sasuke offered, and added, "At least I won't have to spend twenty minutes trying to start it." Deidara tossed his keys at Sasuke, "Thanks, and yeah I know, I'm so glad I got a new car." Sasuke laughed, "I think _everyone _is glad you got a new car." Deidara rolled his eyes and Sasori agreed.

After a few minutes, the ice on Deidara's car had melted and the car was nice and warm inside. Deidara finished his breakfast and met Sasuke outside, cursing about how cold it was and then thanking Sasuke for turning the heat on in the car. On the way home, Sasuke dreaded every second of the ride. He really didn't want to go home, or see his brother. He wondered what made him so afraid of his brother, they were once so close so why was he freaking out so much? When they were about halfway to Sasuke's apartment, Deidara broke the silence. "Is something wrong? You're being awfully quiet.. and why are you in such a rush to get home?" he asked. Sasuke racked his brain for an excuse, he couldn't tell Deidara about Itachi. "Nothings wrong, I'm just tired. Sorry if it seemed like I was in a rush - I just haven't spent some time alone in a while and I'm ready to get home and relax. Maybe write a little in the journal Naruto bought me." Sasuke finally said after a few seconds. Deidara smiled, "Do you like the journal? Naruto was worried you wouldn't like it." Sasuke smiled, "Yeah, it was really thoughtful."

They spent the rest of the time talking about the previous night. Deidara gushed about how he loved the fireworks, and how he loved Sasori. Sasuke hoped one day Naruto and he would have a relationship as wonderful as Sasori and Deidara's. Their chat was cut short when they finally pulled in front of Sasuke's apartment. Sasuke inwardly sighed, wishing Itachi had picked a different day to come over. He really did want to relax and spend some time alone, he'd spent so much time with his friends lately that he couldn't remember the last time he had alone time. Deidara waved goodbye as Sasuke entered his apartment. He took of his shoes and entered the living room, only to reveal his brother sitting on his couch, tapping his fingers on the table next to the couch. "It's nice to see you again, little brother."

Sasuke felt a shiver go down his spine. There was something in Itachi's voice that wasn't there all those years ago. Something that scared Sasuke. Something that made him feel that Itachi wasn't the same brother he had five years ago. Something about him was definitely off. "What do you want, Itachi?" Sasuke said. Itachi smiled, "That's not a nice way to greet your brother - your only family at that. Come, take a seat next to me." Sasuke crossed his arms, "I'm fine right here. And you'll get a proper greeting as soon as I get some answers." Itachi laughed, clearly amused. "My, you've changed quite a bit, Sasuke. You use to be such a crybaby when you were younger. Now you're so cruel." Sasuke wished what Itachi said was true. He use to be so emotional, and he built up a strong, exterior over the years. But deep down, he was still emotional, and he has been even more so recently. But how could he not be? So much has happened to him, he was so broken, it was hard to keep himself together.

"Why did you leave, Itachi? Why didn't you even go to the funeral?" Sasuke asked, focusing on the anger he built up over the years. He wouldn't show his brother how weak he really was. Itachi sighed, "You're so focused on these answers, but little brother, have you already forgotten about the present I promised you? I know it's a day late, but surely you'll still accept it." Sasuke's eyes widened. He totally forgot about the present his brother mentioned, and quite honestly, he didn't want to know what it was. "Come over here, I'll show you." Itachi said, patting the spot next to him. Sasuke's heart pumped at a milion miles a minute. He didn't want to go near his brother, but at this point it seemed he had no choice. He closed the distance between them and stood in front of his brother. Their dark eyes met, and Itachi smiled. "Now, close your eyes." Sasuke gulped but obeyed. He felt Itachi touch his arm, gripping it lightly, and making him turn around. "Now, open them." Sasuke stood facing the area in front of the couch. It was once a bare area, and now there stood a large flat screen t.v. "Merry Christmas, Sasuke." Itachi said. Sasuke turned around, "Why did you get me this? I don't need it." Itachi pretended he was hurt, "Aww, you don't like it?" Sasuke shook his head, "It's nice and all but I can't accept it. Where did you even get the money for this?"

Itachi smiled, "I'm sure Deidara could tell you." Sasuke was confused, "What does Deidara have to do with anything?" Itachi's grin grew wider. "Why, Deidara has a lot to do with everything. I'm sure he could even answer every question you want to ask me." Sasuke frowned, "What the hell are you talking about? I'm sick of you talking in circles. I want answers right now Itachi." Itachi patted the seat next to him, "Take a seat, and I'll calmly explain everything." Sasuke complied, waiting for Itachi to explain. "Well, I'll start at the beginning. You're so blind, little brother. While you and Deidara laughed and had fun, I was breaking inside. Every laugh I shared with you two, they were all force, fake laughs. You two got to do whatever you wanted, but me? No. You got lucky, Sasuke. You didn't have to endure father's harsh words because you didn't live up to his expectations. I did. He didn't care how you did in school or what you did, but he forced me to work my hardest, and even that wasn't good enough for him. I was never good enough. None of you cared. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand to be around any longer. I remember one day, I was too fed up to go home. I walked around town aimlessly, and I met a guy. His name I cannot say, but he offered me something that I couldn't decline. He offered me happiness."

Sasuke was confused, where was he going with this? "He offered me a… job. He was the leader of an organization called the Akatsuki. They're better known as criminals. But you see, I had to prove myself worthy enough to join their group. It was a simple task - one I was delighted to do. All I had to do was kill our parents Sasuke. Kill the people who tormented me all my life, who made me feel worthless, as if I wasn't good enough." Sasuke's eyes widened. Here he was, sitting next to his brother - a murderer, a criminal, and the person who created all of his suffering. "How.. How could you Itachi? What about me?" Sasuke whispered, he could barely even form the words. "What about you? You didn't stop my suffering, you got to be happy while I continued to break. You deserved to feel the pain I endured for all those years."

Tears brimmed Sasuke's eyes. He couldn't believe this. "But that's not the worst part, dear brother," Itachi continued, "Deidara left you too. He's done nothing but lie to you. Do you know why he left? He left because he _knew _what was going to happen to your parents. He could've prevented it but he didn't, he let it happen. He was also offered a position in the Akatsuki, but he refused. Sure, he didn't commit the crime, but he didn't stop it either. And what's worse is, he left you all alone too. He left you suffer, and he left so he wouldn't have to deal with it. So he wouldn't have to deal with you. Deidara knows many things. Why, I saw him just last week. I bet he didn't tell you that either. He doesn't care if you're okay, he only cares about himself. That's why he left." Sasuke couldn't believe it. All of it. His life came crumbling down, just as it did five years ago. Everything he built up was fading away. "And that boyfriend of yours? Do you think he honestly cares about you? He doesn't. That party you didn't go to? He cheated on you there. Deidara knows, he was well aware it happened. And he kept that from you too. Oh, and you think you have other friends? Like Kiba and Sasori? No. They knew too. They all kept Naruto's secret from you, they care about him more than they care about you. I bet you think that stupid blonde loved you. Who could love you Sasuke? He would rather be with that pinked haired girl than you."

Sasuke shook his head, "Shut up! Shut up, god damn it. I've heard enough… okay?" The tears threatened to spill, and he couldn't let his brother see that. He couldn't let his brother win, even though he knew his brother had done more than win. He even did a victory lap. Itachi stood up, "How does it feel to know everything is a lie? That no one is your friend? Just remember who told you the truth when no one else did, little brother. I'll see you later." He said, exiting the apartment. Sasuke watched as he left. He left him alone all over again, to drown in his sorrow, with no one to comfort him. He stood up, letting the tears flow down his cheeks. He walked over to the brand new t.v. his brother bought him and punched it, cracking the screen. "Fuck!" he screamed. He knew he had to talk to Deidara, and Naruto. He sat back down on his couch, he felt like all his energy was drained from him.

_Well, I wanted to spend some time alone. And now, I'll be spending a lot of time alone it seems. _He thought. He didn't even want to look at Deidara or Naruto. He just wanted to isolate himself from everyone and lay in bed alone. He didn't want to think about them, or anything. He texted Deidara, "We need to talk." He would deal with Naruto later.

**I am soooo sorry for the wait! I've been extremely busy, and I have finals all week starting tomorrow. I'll try to update again soon. Enjoy :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Two hours after Itachi's visit, Sasuke snapped out of his shocked trance. He felt the sadness threatening to overtake him, so to counter it, he focused on how angry he was. How angry he was at Deidara, and Naruto, and his brother. But most of all, how mad he was at himself. _How could I be so blind? _He thought as he threw whatever he could reach. He cursed himself for not having more possessions to break, there wasn't much to break other than the new t.v. Itachi bought and the stand it came with, and throwing the few pillows that usually laid untouched on his couch didn't help relieve his anger. _I should've known he'd never love me - no one would. Hell, I don't even love myself… _he thought. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, then reached in his pocket for his phone. He would've broken it by now, but he knew he couldn't afford a new one. Deidara texted back about ten minutes ago, telling him he would be over soon. He should be here any minute. Sasuke wasn't sure who he was the most mad at. He thought about it a lot over the past few hours, and he decided it would probably be Deidara. Naruto was new to his life and has no idea about the struggles he has. Of course he was hurt about the cheating, but out of everything it was the least hurtful. At least at this moment.

Deidara though, knew everything about Sasuke. He had known everything - even the things Sasuke didn't. And he left him to deal with everything on his own - just as his brother had. He sat down, resting his head in his hands. _Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I just want to be happy… _he thought. He tried to clear his mind and calm himself, but before he had the chance, he heard his apartment door open. The sound of snow-covered shoes being taken off filled the silence, then a pause, and then bare footsteps toward the living room. Deidara appeared moments later, and he smiled, "What's up, Sasuke?" and the moment Sasuke laid eyes on Deidara, his somewhat calm exterior broke. Instead of the anger he had focused hard to maintain, tears pricked at his eyes. In front of him stood his best friend, and yet it was also the person who had betrayed and hurt him just as much as his brother had. Deidara standing there smiling almost seemed to mock Sasuke, to say 'All I've done is lie to your face.'

Deidara frowned, confused by Sasuke's silence and the pained look on his face, "Hey, is everything okay?" Sasuke stood up, and Deidara walked towards him, attempting to pull him into an embrace, but Sasuke pushed him away and angrily spat, "Fuck you," as silent tears fell from his eyes. Deidara's eyes widened, "W-What?" Sasuke shook his head in disbelief, "I-I can't fucking believe you. I thought you were my best friend Dei… How could you lie to me? How could you hurt me like this?" Deidara stared at Sasuke, and then it all clicked. "Itachi…" he whispered aloud. "So it's true then. All of it. God damnit, Dei!" Sasuke yelled, kicking the broken t.v. that laid on the floor. "What did he say to you?" Deidara demanded, growing angry. _How the fuck could Itachi do this? Come here and ruin everything? _Deidara thought. "You knew everything. My parents, Itachi's disappearance. Everything." Sasuke answered. He didn't even want to look at Deidara anymore. His tears had disappeared and he just wanted Deidara to get out of his house and out of his life and never come back. "That was the past, Sasuke. You have to understand… I didn't know what to say…" Deidara said. Sasuke shook his head, "I don't want your meaningless excuses. You held me while I cried about my parents, and about Itachi disappearing. You watched me break, the least you could've done was be truthful to me. Don't you think I deserved the truth about my family? You fucking knew while you watched me cry…"

"Why are you taking it all out on me? What about Itachi? He's the one who killed your parents, not me." Deidara yelled. He felt guilty, but he also wasn't the only one guilty. "I know that now - no thanks to you. It doesn't change anything, you could've told me. That isn't even all of it. You knew… You knew about Naruto too. That isn't near as bad as knowing about the past, but you couldn't even tell me that!" Sasuke spat. Deidara shook his head, "I just… I didn't want to see you sad. I thought it would break you even more…"

"That's not up for you to decide. Do you think not telling me and having me find out is gonna hurt me less? No, it hurts twice as bad. What, did you think I wouldn't find out so it was okay to not say anything?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Sasuke, I understand why you're upset, but there isn't anything I can do at this point about it. Either you can accept my apology… or not. But I want you to know that I really am sorry."

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, and sighed. "Just get the fuck out of here Deidara. I don't wanna see you ever again." Deidara's eyes widened, "Surely you don't mean-" Sasuke interrupted him, "I do. Get out right fucking now." Deidara couldn't believe it. The night before they had celebrated Christmas and had an amazing time, and today Sasuke doesn't even want to see him. He silently protested with his eyes, begging Sasuke to forgive him, but when Sasuke's expression remained full of hatred he had no choice but to leave. So he did. He went home, and left Sasuke alone.

* * *

><p><em>Next is Naruto<em> Sasuke thought. He sat on his couch, sighing. The argument with Deidara wore him out emotionally, he didn't think he could handle that again. Instead, he texted Naruto, telling him it was over and to not bother seeing him ever again. He didn't feel he owed him an explanation. No one ever gave him an explanation except his brother, who happens to be a murderer. He didn't forget Itachi for one bit, he knew all Itachi wanted to do was ruin his life. And he did. He succeeded. Everything he had built up was torn down, and he was left alone all over again.

Three days went by. Three lonely, quiet days, at least for Sasuke. Kiba, on the other hand, has had a very violent, loud last few days. "Fuck!" Naruto yelled, crunching another can of beer and throwing it at Kiba's wall. Kiba sighed, picking up the empty can and throwing it away. He set it on top of the slowly overflowing pile of cans in his trash. He had no idea which number Naruto was on, all he knew was Naruto hadn't been sober since the night he received the text from Sasuke. "Get me another beer!" Naruto yelled at Kiba. "Look, I know you're upset about Sasuke but you need to get ahold of yourself. You don't need anymore beer." Kiba said. He had been taking care of him the last few days. He remembered when Naruto called him crying, begging him to take him to Sasuke's. He was - and has been - a mess. Sasuke didn't answer the door, even after an hour and a half of Naruto begging and pleading to see him, which didn't help Naruto in the least. "Why, Kiba? Why did he break up with me?" Naruto asked, the tears starting all over again. "Do you think he found out?" he asked, referring to the night of the party.

Kiba shrugged, "I can't think of any other reason he would break up with you." Naruto nodded, "Yeah… But who told him? How did he find out?" He thought about it for a few minutes and then yelled, "Deidara! It had to be that bastard. He was the only one who would've!" Naruto got up and started putting his shoes on, continuing to curse about Deidara. "Woah, woah. What do you think you're doing?" Kiba asked, as Naruto stumbled around, attempting to put on his shoes. "I'm gonna give that bastard a piece of my mind." He said, falling over in his drunken state. Kiba sighed, "You aren't even sober enough to put on your shoes, what makes you think I'm gonna take you to see him?" Naruto stood up, clumsily putting on his coat. "If you don't, you'll have to listen to me complain more." Naruto said, and Kiba nodded, "Good point. Let's go."

* * *

><p>There was a knock on Sasuke's door, which he ignored just as he had the previous days. He didn't know who it was, nor did he care. He was positive whoever it was he wouldn't want to see them. "Hey, it's me, Sasori… You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to, but I want you to know I'm here for you. I had no idea about anything…" Sasuke hesitated a moment. He didn't mind Sasori's company, and he was sort of lonely. He spent the last few days just moping around. He sighed and walked to the door and opened it. Sasori gave him a kind smile, and took off his snowy hat and gloves, along with his coat and shoes. "It's freezing out," He said, making small talk. Sasuke nodded, he had no motivation to talk unless he had to. He lead Sasori to his couch, and took a seat next to him. Sasori noted the broken t.v. on the ground, shattered glass covered the floor around it. Sasuke just stared at Sasori, his expression simply said "What do you want?".<p>

Sasori sighed inwardly, he knew talking to Sasuke in his current state would either be like talking to a wall, or talking to a person blinded by anger. "I know you don't want my pity, and I'm not pitying you. But I'm sorry. I had no idea about your family or Deidara or any of that. I was aware of Naruto's cheating, but it wasn't my place to say anything. Deidara didn't want me to, and I didn't know you well at the time. I know you still barely know me, but I'm here for you." Sasori finally said, breaking the everlasting silence. Sasuke nodded, then paused, then sighed. "Thank you. I really do appreciate it. You shouldn't be the one here apologizing, I'm sorry you got mixed in with all of this. I really do appreciate you being here for me, but I think it would be best if you just forgot about me. With everything that has happened recently, I don't know if I could ever forgive Deidara, or Naruto. I just want to forget the last few months of my life. The last few years if I could."

Sasori was the one to nod this time, "If that's what you think is best, Sasuke. I understand. You have my number, so if you change your mind, I'm here." He stood up from the couch, and turned to face Sasuke, "Goodbye, Sasuke." He said, giving him a soft, apologetic smile. Sasuke forced a smile, "Bye, Sasori." and watched as yet another person walked out of his life. The drive back to Deidara's house was dead silent. Sasori's radio was broke, and even if it wasn't it probably wouldn't be on. Sasori felt bad for Sasuke. Sasuke was hurting himself as much as everyone else was, pushing people out of his life like that. _At least he didn't take his anger out on me. _Sasori thought. He was ready to just cuddle with Deidara and watch a movie or something, but he knew that wouldn't happen.

Deidara had been a wreck the past few days. He kept texting Sasuke, asking for him to forgive him. Sasori tried to stop him, and calm him down, but nothing he said got through to Deidara. He was breaking just as much as Sasuke was. Sasori pulled into the driveway and frowned when he noticed a car parked in front of Dei's house. He got out of his car, and on his way up the steps to the house he heard yelling from within the house. Sasori sighed, taking off his shoes on the porch and entering the house full of arguing. He approached the kitchen and the voices were clearer. It was Deidara and Naruto.

"You fucking told him, didn't you?" Naruto accused Deidara. Sasori noticed Kiba was standing off to the side, sighing. He obviously didn't want to be there. "Don't fucking pin this on me. I didn't do anything. He hates me ten times more than he'll ever hate you." Deidara said, fuming. _How dare that blonde fuckboy come in my house and accuse me. _Deidara thought. "Are you kidding me? He won't even talk to me!" Naruto countered.

"I wish that was all he did to me. You didn't have to watch him yell and break things. You didn't have to watch him fall apart. You didn't have him say, 'I don't ever wanna see you again,'" Deidara yelled, Sasori could tell he wanted to cry. "What the fuck happened?" Naruto asked, but Deidara just shook his head. "It's none of your business. You shouldn't have even gotten involved with him to begin with. You have no idea what he's been through and you sure as hell didn't help."

Naruto groaned, "You obviously didn't help either, you probably made it worse." he said, and then walked over to Kiba, "Come on, let's go. I'll just have to find out from someone else." Deidara's knuckles were turning white from how hard he was gripping the kitchen counter, he was holding back before he said or did something he would regret. Sasori watched as Kiba and Naruto left, neither saying a word to him. Kiba looked worn out, and Sasori sure felt worn out himself. He knew he would be hearing about Deidara rant on about how the blonde should stay out of it. Deidara blamed Naruto quite a bit, but he knew deep down everything was his own fault.

Sasori walked over to Deidara silently, wrapping his arms around him. Deidara gripped him tightly, burying his head into Sasori's shoulder, and his entire body started shaking as tears soaked Sasori's shirt. Sasori held Deidara tighter as Deidara began to sob, he ran one of his hands through his blonde locks. He couldn't stand to see Deidara break apart like this, he had never seen him this emotional. _I just hope things go back to normal soon… _Sasori thought. Hope for the best, pray for the worst. But he wasn't sure if he could handle the worst.

**No one seems to be handling things well :/ Will Sasuke forgive anyone? Or will he continue to isolate himself? I hope you enjoyed :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Warning: This chapter is really depressing. Keep reading til the end though, I promise it'll be worth it. I hope it wasn't too much! Please enjoy :)**

**Chapter Fifteen**

The next six months things didn't get any better. Sasuke's isolation was like a ripple in the water, and everyone was affected by it. Sasori spent every day with Deidara, still trying to cheer him up. He grew weary, and things have gotten worse in the last few months. Deidara, who was usually cheerful and loud, remained silent and motionless. Sasori didn't know how much longer he could handle it. He refrained from sighing and took a seat next to Deidara. He forced himself to hold in there a little longer and formed a sad smile on his face, placing a kiss on Deidara's cheek. Deidara didn't respond to it, he didn't even acknowledge Sasori's presence. Sasori couldn't hold back a sigh and sat back on the couch, turning on the t.v. Nothing good was on - and if there was he wasn't interested in watching it. He didn't know what to do anymore. Deidara didn't even go to work anymore, he quit his job - well he unofficially quit, he simply just stopped going. Sasori couldn't remember the last time he had a real conversation with Deidara, or the last time he smiled. Tonight was like any other night until Deidara finally spoke for the first time in a long time. "It's been six months, Sasori…" He croaked. Deidara hadn't shown any emotion in weeks, and yet his facade broke as a few lonely tears rolled down his cheeks.

Sasori searched for the right words to say, but he knew there were no right words to say. He fed him the same lies he did every time Deidara brought up Sasuke. "I'm sure he just needs time… I'm sure he'll forgive you eventually-" Sasori started but he was cut off by Deidara. "SIX MONTHS. Six god damn months, Sasori. You know as well as I do that he isn't going to forgive me." Deidara yelled. "I don't know what to say, Dei… I'm sorry. I'm trying." Sasori said sadly. Nothing he said worked, nothing he did was enough. Deidara opened his mouth, as if he was going to spit out more angry accusations, but then closed it. He went back to his silent, emotionless facade. Sasori bit back his tears, but they fell anyway. "Deidara… I don't think I can do this anymore. I can't sit here and watch you fall apart. You won't even let me help you. I know how much he meant to you, and I really am sorry how things turned out… but you have me, too. Don't I mean anything? All you do is push me away just like Sasuke did to you." Sasori admitted. He didn't know what he expected Deidara to say. He half-expected him to yell, and another part expected him to say nothing.

Deidara looked at him, acknowledged his words, but said nothing. He almost wanted Deidara to yell and scream at him, hell, he just wanted him to do something. Sasori shook his head sadly, more tears pouring from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Dei… I just can't…" He started, but he couldn't finish the words. It hurt him too much to finish. He stole one last glance at Deidara, whose expression remained unfaltered, and got up and left. As soon as Deidara heard the door close shut, and Sasori's car pull out of the drive, his facade broke. He laid on the couch, curling into a ball, and sobbed loudly. He felt so broken, so hurt, so alone. He wanted to be happy with Sasori, he wanted him to stay, but part of him just couldn't.

* * *

><p>Naruto took another swig of the bottle of jack he was holding. He felt the warm liquid burn his throat as it travelled, giving his whole body a warm feeling. Kiba had been taking care of Naruto, just as Sasori took care of Deidara. Kiba was losing hope. Naruto was almost the equivalent of an alcoholic. When he didn't drink, he just sobbed and sobbed or seemed emotionless. And when he drank, he was a mess of emotions, but mostly he was angry. Normally, Kiba just sat and watched Naruto do whatever he did, and didn't protest. He did at first - but it didn't do anything. So he gave up. But today? No. Kiba was fed up. "Naruto you need to stop drinking. What good is it doing you?" Kiba demanded. Naruto ignored him, taking another gulp. Not even alcohol took his mind off Sasuke, but it did help cloud his mind a bit. Sakura gave up on Naruto a long time ago, seeing him so broken was too much for her. It was too much for everyone. The normally cheerful blonde was an angry, broken person now. Sakura moved, and the rest of the group sort of split up. Kiba was the only one who stayed. "Don't fucking ignore me, Uzumaki." Kiba said, clenching his teeth.<p>

Naruto then gripped the bottle tightly until his knuckles turned white, then threw it at the wall. He stood up in a fit of rage, "What the hell do you want Kiba? Why don't you just leave like everyone else did?" Kiba grabbed Naruto by the collar of his shirt, "Because I fucking care about you, asshole. Sitting here and drinking isn't doing any good, if you're really so hurt over him, go fucking do something about it!" Naruto pushed him off, "I've tried. It's been six months, he obviously doesn't want anything to do with me." Kiba sighed. "Look, you haven't tried to contact him in at least a month, maybe you should try one last time. And if it doesn't work out, then it's time to move on."

Naruto remained silent, then nodded. "Yeah, alright."

* * *

><p>Six months. <em>Everyone has finally stopped reaching out to me <em>Sasuke thought. It was bittersweet. It was what he wanted, and yet he couldn't brush off the overwhelmingly sad feeling that he felt every day. _They're probably all fine without me… _He thought. _They don't need me. _He had plenty of time to think over the last six months since he was always alone. He thought about many things, and ultimately he decided there was no point in him existing. There is no one here for him, his family is gone, his brother is a criminal. His friends finally let go of him. So why even be here? _I'm just suffering, living for no reason. Drowning in my sorrow night after night _he thought to himself. At first, he was angry. Then, he was sad. And then, numb. He looked at his arms, tracing the slowly fading cut marks. He hadn't done it in about two weeks. He did it at first so he could feel something; and then he did it because the pain brought him relief. He felt as if his purpose in life was to be the punching bag of others. Now that he didn't have anyone to hurt him, he hurt himself, almost as if to give himself some sort of purpose.

It didn't change anything though. It didn't make him hurt any less, or make him less sad. It was pointless now. He walked in to his kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets until he found what he was looking for. A bottle of aspirin, the bottle that would bring his suffering to an end. He popped the first one. _This one is for Deidara… for how he couldn't even tell me the truth. _He thought. He pulled out a second pill, wondering if this was what he truly wanted. He popped the second. _This one is for my brother, and how he left me to suffer. _He told himself. He played with the third in his hand, deciding that there really wasn't any reason for him to continue suffering. Then he swallowed the third. _This one if for myself. For how stupid I was to ever trust and love Naruto. _He thought. He was crying at this point as he picked up the fourth. He sobbed for many reason; for what his friends did to him, and for what he did to his friends.

_Why? Why did I push them away? I knew I needed them… and yet I treated them like trash… _He thought, sobbing even harder. He thought they deserved to be treated like that for what they did to him. But in the end, it only hurt Sasuke even more. Just as he was about to swallow the fourth, there was a knock on his door. "Hey! Sasuke! Open the door!" It was Naruto. Sasuke's eyes widened. He came. He's here. Thoughts rushed through his mind. _What if he's just here to tell me how much he hates me? _He thought, eyeing the fourth pill. The banging on his door continued and Naruto's shouts continued. Sasuke really considered to just take the pill, but then Naruto's pleas turned desperate. "Please Sasuke… I miss you so much…" Naruto said, crying.

Sasuke threw the pill back into the bottle and went to the door, trying to dry his tears. But the second he saw Naruto's tear stained face, he couldn't stop the tears from returning. Naruto threw himself into Sasuke's arms, holding him tightly. He sobbed, and Sasuke could smell the alcohol on him. "Sasuke I'm so sorry… Please forgive me. I need you, Sasuke. You don't understand how much you mean to me." Naruto said, sobbing into Sasuke's shoulder. "I-I miss you too," Sasuke admitted, tears rolling down his cheeks as well. "Please don't ever leave me again. Sasuke, I love you." Naruto said, pulling away and looking into Sasuke's dark eyes. Sasuke smiled for the first time in months, it was a genuinely happy smile, "I won't leave." He was ready to give Naruto another chance. But he didn't know if he was ready to give everyone another chance.

Naruto was surprised that Sasuke hadn't argued or pushed him away, but it was obvious Sasuke needed someone. Naruto had many questions for Sasuke, but he didn't dare to push him to give answers just yet. They spent the day in silence, both too afraid to speak a word of the past or of their time apart. They fill the silence with desperate kisses, loving cuddles, and facial expressions. Eventually, Naruto took a chance and sliced through the silence with a few simple, yet daring words. "So, did you ever write in that journal I bought you?" Sasuke hesitated. He had written in it, he spent most of his spare time writing how he felt. "Yeah, I did." He said simply. "Can I read it sometime?" Naruto asked. Sasuke shook his head, "I'd prefer if you didn't…" and with that, Naruto dropped the subject.

About an hour later, Sasuke got up to make them dinner while Naruto remained in Sasuke's bed. "Hey, I gotta get some groceries," Sasuke said. "I can go with you," Naruto offered, but Sasuke shook his head. "It's alright, I'll just drive to the store real fast." Naruto forgot he saw a vehicle parked outside, it must be Sasuke's. He assumed he got a job in his spare time, and saved up for a car. Naruto frowned, he still didn't have his own car and he really needed to get one. Hell, he needed a job at that. It was the beginning of June, and he didn't have Summer classes so he supposed he could get a job.

After Sasuke left, Naruto was bored. He got up and looked around Sasuke's house. He wasn't really looking for anything in particular, he just wanted to do something - anything. That's when he found it. The simple, plain looking journal he bought him for Christmas. His fingers traced over the cover, and his mind dared him to open it. He shrugged, Sasuke wouldn't be back for awhile so he might as well take a look. He flipped through the pages, reading a line here and there. He look for the first entry, and sure enough the date was in December. He took a deep breath and started reading the lines. He wanted answers, and everything started the day after Christmas. The date on the page was a few days after the break up and he assumed he would find the answers he was looking for.

At first, he thought maybe it was just about the cheating. But after talking to Deidara, he realized it was something much more than that. Sasuke was hiding something from him, something that Deidara obviously knew. He continued to skim the lines, and then his eyes widened. "What the hell…" he whispered aloud.


	16. Update

**I will try to update sometime today or tomorrow, I might be losing internet soon for a week or two though so if that happens I won't be updating but I will continue writing and will update as soon as I regain internet.**


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Deidara sat up, wiping away the tears that had already started forming. He didn't know how much he had cried in the last week, ever since Sasori left he just couldn't stop. He knew he should have been grateful for having Sasori, he should have been happy. Deidara stood up, peeling his sweat-filled shirt off. He couldn't remember the last time he took a shower, hell he couldn't remember the last time he left his house, and after running a hand through his greasy hair he knew he needed to take a shower. After stripping away the rest of his clothes, he got in the warm shower. He sighed, resting his forehead against the cold shower wall. He let the warm water pour over his back, resisting the tears that threatened to spill. He tried to think of anything but Sasori, and of course his thoughts wondered to Sasuke. _I wonder what he's doing. I wonder if he's okay, _he thought. _I wonder if he misses me… _His thoughts slowly wandered toward Naruto. He wondered what happened to that blonde haired boy, he hadn't seen him since that night they argued about Sasuke. _Maybe he gave up on Sasuke _he thought, _Maybe I gave up on Sasuke… _Had he given up on Sasuke? He stopped trying to contact him months ago, but it wasn't like texting him and banging on his door was changing anything.

Deidara poured some shampoo into his hands and washed his hair. He felt a lot better now that he was finally cleaning himself up, and he realized he really needed to stop moping around. It was easier said than done, he couldn't just pretend everything was okay. He finished his shower then quickly got dressed. His stomach growled loudly, he hadn't ate much lately at all. He opened all the cabinents in the kitchen along with his fridge only to reveal that everything was empty. Well, except for maybe the odd ends of the loaf of bread, some peanut butter, and expired milk. Sasori forced him to eat and bought him groceries, and now that he was gone, Deidara neither ate nor went grocery shopping. He grabbed his keys off the counter and briefly wondered if his car even worked since he hadn't used it in ages. He took a deep breath, facing the outside world felt like a huge challenge at the moment, and then opened the door.

Just as he was about to step outside, he noticed someone blocking his path. "N-Naruto?" He stammered. _What in the world was he doing here out of all people? _he wondered. "Listen, if you want to know how Sasuke is, I have no idea." Deidara said, ignoring the stinging feeling in his throat. Naruto looked at the ground and ran a hand through his hair. "Actually, that's not really why I'm here. Do you think we could talk?" Naruto said nervously. Deidara raised an eyebrow, "Um… sure." He said, stepping away from the door to let him in. "Do you have anything to drink?" Naruto asked, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge door. "I don't…" Deidara answered and Naruto furrowed his brows, examining the empty fridge. Deidara motioned for Naruto to take a seat next to him on the couch. The blonde sat down and turned to face Deidara. "I'm sorry I came here unannounced and all, but I needed someone to talk to." Deidara slowly shook his head, not knowing where Naruto was going with this.

"I know we might not be close friends, and I know everything is really screwed up right now - at least for me it is - but I really feel like I can trust you." Naruto continued. Deidara sighed, "Okay, just spit it out." Naruto nodded, "Well, I went to Sasuke's apartment about a week ago, and I don't know I'm worried about him. We barely talk, probably because neither of us wants to mention the past. Well, you know that journal I bought him? I know this is wrong but when he was gone I read through it. I guess I wanted answers and somehow I knew he wouldn't tell me. I know you know what happened all those months ago… I just…" Naruto trailed off, he was choking back tears.

"I'm so worried. He won't talk to me and well, ever since I got to his house he's been wearing long sleeves. I mean he's normally cold all the time so I didn't think anything about it, even though it's the middle of June. The other night though, he rolled up one of his sleeves for a second and I… I saw cuts along his arm. None of them looked fresh, but there were plenty of scars and some were healing." Naruto said, and paused, waiting for Deidara's reply. Many thoughts were racing through Deidara's head, but his main concern was, "What do you want me to do about it? I tried to be there for him Naruto, but he didn't want me there. He obviously forgave you, but I highly doubt he ever wants to see my face again."

Naruto shook his head, "He didn't want anything to do with me either, but I think he realized how much he really needs us. I'm not enough for him, I know he needs you too…" Deidara stood up, "Even if he did, it doesn't matter. It's too late. Everything in my life is destroyed. I lost my job, I lost my friendship with Sasuke, and to top it all off I lost the one person who loved me and was there for me through all of this." Deidara said, tears rolling down his face. He kicked the wall next to the couch, "Sasori fucking left me too. I'm worthless. I couldn't be there for my best friend, and I pushed away the one person who loved me!" He yelled. Naruto looked at Deidara with sad eyes, he didn't know if everything could go back to how it was before. He didn't know if Sasuke would ever be the same, if he would ever be the same, and it seemed as if Deidara would never be the same. Naruto stood up, "Listen, I'm sorry. Just think about it okay?" he said. He gave Deidara one last look, and then left.

Sasuke put the new plates he bought into the cabinent, he needed more plates since Naruto had been staying with him. He noticed one of the plates was broken. He picked it up, examining the broken edge of the plate, then shrugged and set it on top of the pile of plates. Most people would throw out a broken plate with the excuse that the broken edge could possible cut and hurt whoever decided to use it. Sasuke felt like the plate symbolized him, or anyone that was broken in general. People tend to go for plates that weren't broken, in fear that they could get hurt, or because they didn't want to spend the time fixing the plate. It was dumb, but ever since the literature class he took a few years back, he saw symbolism in everything.

His thoughts wandered to Naruto. Did he worry that he would get hurt if he lingered around Sasuke? Just as he was about to ask himself where Naruto was at, Naruto appeared in the kitchen. "I'm back," Naruto said, plastering on his fake smile. Sasuke could tell that the smile wasn't a genuine smile, he couldn't remember the last time he saw Naruto smile for real. Sasuke frowned, he worried that maybe he was hurting Naruto, and breaking him too. _Maybe I should have made him stay away forever… _Sasuke thought. The last thing he wanted was to make Naruto break along with him. "Sorry, I went over to Kiba's to see how he was doing." Naruto said. He didn't want Sasuke to know he went to see Deidara, he didn't even know how Sasuke felt about Dei. Sasuke nodded, "How is he?" Naruto shrugged, "Eh, he's fine."

The day continued the same as every other day, neither really spoke, but around eight that night while the two were laying in bed, Sasuke said something that caught Naruto off guard. "Do you know how Deidara's doing?" he asked, looking up at the blonde. "Um.. no, but the last time I saw him he wasn't doing too well." he answered him carefully. Sasuke nodded. "I want to see him." Naruto sat up and thought about his conversation with Deidara. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Sasuke." He answered. Sasuke furrowed his brows, "Why not?" Naruto frowned and averted his eyes, "Things aren't… okay between him and Sasori, and he isn't handling it well." He wasn't sure if he should've told him that but he had to find out eventually.

Sasuke frowned, "What happened between them?" Naruto shrugged, "I honestly don't know. I haven't seen Sasori in a long time." Sasuke looked up at the blonde, "Will you go visit Sasori and find out?" Naruto met his gaze, "What?" Sasuke reached his hand out and grabbed Naruto's arm, "Please… If they split up because of me… I just want them to be happy." he said. Naruto frowned, "Listen, I'll see what I can do okay? But promise me, that if they don't get back together, that you won't blame yourself." Sasuke nodded, and he even smiled, which caused Naruto to smile as well.

Sasuke tugged on Naruto's arm, pulling him down into the mess of blankets and pillows, and wrapped his arms around the blonde. He snuggled into his warm, tanned chest, and buried his face into his blonde locks. Naruto was quite surprised but he welcomed Sasuke's actions. Sasuke was finally starting to act more like himself and Naruto was happy. He leaned over and gave Sasuke a kiss on the cheek, then laid back down to sleep with a smile on his face.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Naruto sighed. He stood outside of Sasori's house, took a deep breath, then knocked. He wasn't really close with Sasori - Sasuke had bonded with the boy more - yet here he was trying to fix Deidara and Sasori's relationship. He did want them to be together, but in all honesty he was only doing this for Sasuke. After a minute or two Naruto debated on whether or not to leave, but just as he turned to leave Sasori opened the door. He gave the blonde and confused look but motioned him to come inside. _Wow, I haven't been here since Christmas _Naruto thought as he took in the surrondings of the familiar house. Sasori, still silent, sat on the leather couch and waited for Naruto to follow suit. He sat down, trying to organize his thoughts. He didn't really come here with a plan - but when did he plan ahead?

His thoughts flashed back to Sasuke. "Please talk to him for me?" Sasuke begged. It wasn't like him to ask for something, let alone beg for it. "Why can't you talk to him?" Naruto inquired. Sasuke shook his head, "I've done enough damage, I think it would be better if you talked to him. Please?" Naruto sighed, "Alright, I'll go over tomorrow and talk to him." Naruto couldn't help but give in, the look on Sasuke's face was all he needed to march over to Sasori's house and attempted to fix his and Deidara's relationship.

"Listen, if you're here to ask me about Sasuke or Deidara, don't. I've had enough of all that. I can't fix Deidara, and I sure and the hell can't fix Sasuke either." Sasori said before Naruto had the chance to speak. Naruto frowned, "I don't know what happened between you and Dei, but can't you work things out? Sasuke is finally opening back up and he wants you guys back in his life - but more than that he wants you and Deidara to be together." Sasori shook his head, "What? Why now? And why does he even care about me and Deidara's relationship?"

Naruto sighed, "I went to go see Deidara a few days ago. He's a wreck-" Sasori scoffed at that and muttered, "Tell me something I don't know." Naruto ignored him and continued on, "-He needs you, Sasori. Sasuke feels like it's his fault you guys split up, and he feels bad for all the damage he's caused on everybody's lives. He's trying to set things straight, fix everything." Sasori opened his mouth, then hesitated. "I think Sasuke and Deidara need to work things out first. Then maybe - just maybe - I'll be able to fix things with Dei." He finally answered. Naruto nodded, "Okay, if I can fix things between Sasuke and Deidara, then you'll give Deidara a chance?"

Sasori nodded, "Sure." he said simply. The two said their goodbyes and on the way home Naruto wondered just how in the world he would get Deidara and Sasuke to fix things. Sasuke wanted to, and he was sure Deidara did too, but Deidara didn't seem too hopeful that things could ever go back to normal. Naruto partially felt that way too, it almost felt like the damage was already done and things wouldn't be able to be the way they once were, but after talking to Sasori he had a small glimmer of hope. When Naruto got home he found an eager Sasuke awaiting. "So? What did he say?" Sasuke asked. "It went better than I expected," Naruto started.

"He's willing to fix things with Dei IF you and Deidara can patch things up. Deidara is a real mess without you, and even more so without Sasori. I really think you should go see him soon." Naruto said. Sasuke nodded, "Do you think he'll want to be my friend again?" The sadness in his voice and the expression on his face broke Naruto's heart. Sasuke seemed so vulnerable, as if he would break if Deidara didn't want to see him. Naruto pulled him into his arms, "Hey, everything will work out, I promise. Of course he'd want to be your friend. Be patient with him though, I feel like he'll need a little time." Sasuke tightened his grip around Naruto and nodded, "Okay." He said, and nuzzled into him even more.

A few days later Sasuke decided he would go see Deidara. "Will you go with me?" Sasuke pleaded. Naruto reached down and grabbed his soft hand, rubbing circles on it with his thumb, and smiled, "Of course." Naruto was both glad and upset that everything happened. He was glad because he felt like it brought him and Sasuke closer together, but upset because it separated other people. Hopefully they would make things right today. Sasuke finally opened up to Naruto the other night about his family. He explained everything with his brother and how Deidara knew about everything. Naruto listened intently, although he already knew everything he pretended to be surprised. And when Sasuke cried about the death of his parents, and about how his brother and he have drifted apart, Naruto had held him through it.

"I have to show you something after we go to Deidara's house," Naruto told Sasuke. "Okay." He said, wondering what it could possibly be that he had to show him. They finally got to Deidara's house, Sasuke stood outside the door with the blonde next to him. He went to knock, but heistated. Naruto squeezed his hand in reassurance and flashed him a warm smile, coaxing him to go ahead and knock. Sasuke finally knocked, then waited. It seemed as if he was preparing for the worst. When Deidara finally appeared in the doorway with a confused look on his face, Naruto turned to Sasuke, "Do you mind if I talk to him alone for a minute?" Sasuke furrowed his brows but nodded, stepping inside and making his way to the living room, leaving the two blondes alone.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Deidara asked. "Look, he's really fragile right now and he wants to talk to you. He wants to fix things, so please be gentle with him. He's trying his hardest right now." Naruto answered. Sasuke was finally starting to piece himself back together, and Naruto didn't want Deidara to tear him back down. Deidara sighed but nodded, "Yeah, okay." They made their way to the living room and Naruto stood in the doorway as Deidara took a seat next to Sasuke. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," He said carefully. He wanted them to talk alone, and when he saw the worried expression flash on Sasuke face he added, "Just call for me or come get me if you need me."

He leaned against the counter in the kitchen and faintly listened to their conversation. He wasn't ease-dropping, but he wanted to make sure everything was going smoothly. Everything was relatively quiet for the first few minutes, then he heard what it sounded like Deidara yelling, then he stopped. His voice returned to calm and remained that way for the next ten minutes. _I really hope they're working things out _Naruto thought to himself. Of course he wants them to work things out, but he just wasn't sure if it was possible. He inwardly cursed Deidara for yelling at Sasuke, but he was glad he calmed himself down. He didn't know Deidara that well, but he could tell it was hard for him to keep his temper down, so he praised him for calming himself so quickly.

Naruto wished he would've stayed in the living room and took part in the conversation, but he knew this was a conversation for the two old friends alone. He also wished it wasn't taking so long. He wasn't a very patient person, but he was trying. He decided to rummage through Deidara's cabinets and fridge, searching for something - anything - to eat. "Hey! You better not be going through my food in there!" He heard Deidara yell from the living room. Naruto sighed, "Sorry!" He managed to find a pack of fruit snacks though, he opened the package and spilled the contents out onto the counter, organizing the fruit.

He put them in groups according to what fruit they were. He ate the pile of oranges first, then the grapes, followed by the strawberries, and he saved the best for last - the green apples. He always ate his least favorite first, that way he could savor his favorite in the end. He heard Deidara and Sasuke get off the couch and walk into the kitchen just as he was eating the last strawberry. "What did I tell you about eating my food?!" Deidara yelled. "Sowwy," Naruto said, mouth full of fruit snacks. He had shoved the remaining fruit snacks into his mouth in fear that Deidara would snatch them away.

Naruto looked between Deidara and Sasuke, trying to gauge whether or not things went well or not. "So…?" Naruto said. Sasuke's face broke into a smile and Deidara shrugged, "Everything is fine." Naruto smiled, "Good." then added, "So… when are you going to talk to Sasori?" Deidara rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I-I don't know. I'd be surprised if he actually did talk to me. Things ended pretty badly, and I don't blame him for not wanting to be with me."

Naruto frowned, "That's not the spirit. He said he would give you a chance, and now that things are good with you and Sasuke I'm sure everything will be okay." Deidara nodded, "Yeah, I guess you're right." Naruto nudged him, "I know I'm right. Now get off your sorry ass and go fix things with him! Buy him flowers or something." Deidara shot him a look, "Do you really thing he would want flowers?" he said sarcastically. Naruto shrugged, "I don't know, I'm not very romantic." Deidara laughed, "You're pretty much the opposite of romantic." Naruto shot him a look.

"Hey, it was nice seeing you but we really should be going." Naruto said. Deidara nodded, "I have a job interview in a little bit anyway, it's about time I start working again." Sasuke looked at Deidara, "Where at?" Deidara grinned widely, "I'm getting a job - hopefully - at the arcade in the mall!" Sasuke returned the grin, "That's awesome. I hope you get the job!" Deidara nodded, "Me too. Now get out of here!" He joked. Naruto and Sasuke took that as their cue to leave, they left and when Sasuke tried to open the door to the driver's side, Naruto stopped him. "You should let me drive, I have to show you that thing." Sasuke gave him a confused look but made his way to the passanger side.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked. They had been driving for what felt like forever and he was starting to wonder just where he was taking him. "Hold on, we're almost here." After a few more minutes they pulled into the driveway that belonged to a giant house. "Do you know someone who lives here?" Sasuke asked, confused. Naruto nodded, "I live here." Sasuke eyes widened. He never went to Naruto's house and he never really asked why. He just assumed it was easier to go to his apartment - which is true - this house was in the middle of nowhere.

Naruto turned off the car and sat back in the seat for a minute. "I don't really spend much time here, if anything I spend more time at Kiba's. This is the house I grew up in, my parent's house. I don't really like being here." Sasuke furrowed his brows, "Are your parents home?" Naruto shook his head, "No. They died in a car accident a few years back. The house was already paid off so I got to keep it. It's a nice house, but it just doesn't feel right to be in it without them. I'm sure you understand what I mean." Sasuke nodded, he knew what it was like to be in the home you grew up in, where you shared all your memories with your family, only to find it vacant and lonely with no trace of your family.

It was depressing and he understood why Naruto wouldn't want to be here. "I want to show you though, I figured you'd ask sooner or later why we'd never gone to my house." Naruto started to open the car door but Sasuke stopped him, he grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "I know this must be hard for you, and I'm sorry you've had to listen to my problems when you were battling your own. I'm glad you're sharing this with me, it means a lot. So, thanks." Sasuke said, smiling. Naruto returned the smile, "Thanks for being here for me. So much has happened in the last year, and I feel like we can finally be happy. Things are going to go in the right direction, and if anything goes wrong, I'll be here for you. We can make it through anything, I can almost guarantee it." He said, then they went inside his old childhood home.

It felt different with Sasuke along with him, it didn't feel so sad. The house almost seemed to come back to life and he finally felt like he could face the memories that came flooding back. He felt relief spread through him, he could feel everything fall into the right place. Deidara and Sasuke fixed things, and he was sure Sasori and Deidara could figure things out too. And he couldn't be happier spending time with his boyfriend. They had came a long way, and he was proud that they were getting through their problems together.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. Sasuke turned toward him, "Yeah?"

"I love you," He said, smiling.

"I love you, too."


End file.
